One of these days the Redskins will be playing in the Super Bowl rather than tweeting pictures of enormous genuflecting snowmen. One of these days. [Twitter]
Sure, this is just one long promo for all the (mostly) crappy programming on NBC. But for just one brief moment, there's Ron Swanson being Ron Swanson—and for that, we will watch it repeatedly. [NBC]
We showed you violence, we showed you cute animals, and now here's that third pillar of advertising, sexism at work.
Mary Kay Cabot, of The Plain Dealer, has a great story about what it was like covering Bill Belichick football coach before he was Bill Belichick Living Legend. Spoiler alert: he was basically the same.
There was the time Ed Meyer from the Akron Beacon Journal tried to get to the bottom of why Belichick replaced the outdoor fields in Berea at a cost of about $500,000.
Supposedly, the fields had been flooding and couldn't be used for days.
Meyer asked Belichick, "What happens to the fields when it rains?"
Belichick paused for a moment and replied, "They get wet."
Cabot relays several other anecdotes about Belichick that show, at one point, he may have even been human. "On [a draft-related] trip, I saw a different Belichick than the stone-face that greeted us at news conferences. He blared some headbanging rock in the car and stopped at his favorite barber for a haircut. He seemed just like a normal guy." A normal guy who "once stuffed a $100 bill into the ashtray of [Scott] Pioli's car after he drove Belichick to the airport."
The whole article is worth a read for a rare glimpse inside the Belichick myth while showing just how much he has influenced football.
While Belichick was busy clashing with the media, he was also assembling an amazing staff that would go on to become a who's who of pro and college sports. He hired young guys who shared his passion for football and let them do their jobs. They included guys such as Scott Pioli, who went from van driver in Cleveland to general manager of the Patriots and Chiefs. It included Phil Savage, Mike Tannenbaum and Ozzie Newsome, who all went on to become NFL general managers. It included Jim Schwartz, Nick Saban and Mangini, who would go on to become head coaches in the NFL, and Kirk Ferentz and Pat Hill, who would become college head coaches.
New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick planted seeds of success with Browns in Cleveland [Cleveland.com]
Animals (anthropomorphized or otherwise) are a mainstay trope of TV advertising, and you'll see plenty of them during tonight's Super Bowl. Here's all the cute ones (and a few not-so-cute) you'll be seeing tonight.
Here's an ad for Dick's Sporting Goods informing viewers the availability of New England Patriots Super Bowl Champions gear. It ran one and a half times during today's local Comcast SportsNet broadcast of the Grizzlies-Celtics game (the second time through, it was cut off as somebody finally noticed it shouldn't have been running).
h/t to JPicc & Ed
Update: We already covered the Giants doing this earlier this morning.
(He's talking about his own acrimonious exit from ESPN.) [NBC]
We're here for six hours so of course we want some live updates from the team hotels. Were there chocolates on the pillows? How did the players sleep? Did Lawrence Taylor send over any [age appropriate!] hookers? Randy Moss and that insanely close talker, Alex Flanagan have us covered—Pats and Giants, respectively.
Serious news man Matt Lauer checks in with an interview with President Obama. Let's see if Matt asks if at least Obama knows when he was inaugurated.
For some reason there is a red carpet. For no reason whatsoever, it will be hosted by Nick Cannon. Adam Sandler is a big football fan! The place will be lousy with stars pimping NBC related programming so, enjoy.
Along with various other game and player-related features—I know, I know. I'm jut as excited to see Vince Wilfork at home as the rest of you—NBC will also showcase the site of Super Bowl 46.
Indianapolis Legacy: NBC Sports will examine how Indianapolis became a shining example of how the biggest of sporting events can provide the means to unite a community in astonishing ways. After the city was awarded the game in 2008, it used the Super Bowl to plant thousands of trees, fight cancer, redevelop an entire neighborhood, and bring hope to those in need. When the Super Bowl is over, its impact in Indianapolis will remain for a very long time.
It's all really happening. Enjoy!
Highlights of NBC's six-hour Super Bowl pregame show [Times Union]
Big hits won't be exclusive to the on the field action tonight. Here's a look at all the violent hits you'll get to witness when the game isn't going on.
Will Carroll, somewhat innocuously, tweeted the picture you see here during the Playboy party Saturday night, gently ribbing Rovell for tweeting anywhere. As you can see, the tweet was sent on February 4 at 12:05 a.m.
This Rovell tweet—"These Super Bowl parties are nothing like they were from 2001-2007. 1,500 people, 16 Playmates. Needle in a haystack."—was sent on February 4 at 12:04 a.m.
In all likelihood, Will Carroll snapped the very moment Rovell finally lost all of his mind (along with some of his followers). And who could blame the poor guy, all dressed up and no one to dance with.
There are 185 Fox affiliates in the United States, and most of them are showing today's heavily-hyped English Premier League match between Chelsea and Manchester United live. More than 20, however, are not. Here's what they chose to air instead.
KHMT Billings, MT—Christian Worship Hour
WXXV Biloxi, MS—Gulf South Outdoors Fishing
WICZ Binghamton, NY—1st Assembly of God
WVFX Clarksburg, WV—Mystery Hunters
WJW Cleveland, OH—Infomercial for pillows
WFFT Fort Wayne, IN—Wall Street Journal Report (Is aired on a MyTV subchannel)
WTIC Hartford-New Haven, CT—Animal Atlas (Note: This is a charter Fox affiliate)
WZDX Huntsville, AL—Whitesburg Baptist Church
WXIN Indianapolis, IN—Live From The Super Bowl (excusable, and aired in Bloomington on the CW)
WGXA Macon, GA—Fellowship Baptist Church
WSVN Miami, FL—Rich Wilkerson Ministry
WITI Milwaukee, WI—Discover Wisconsin
KXND Minot, ND—Sunday Mass
KPTM Omaha, NE—Fox News Sunday
KEVN Rapid City, SD—Main Street Living
WFXR Roanoke, VA—Renewing Cleansing Facial Cream infomercial
KTVU San Francisco, CA—News (Is aired on a subchannel)
KSFX Springfield, MO—Garden Groom infomercial
WFXW Terre Haute, IN—Diet pill infomercial
WTRF Wheeling, WV—Diocese of Wheeling/Charleston
WYFX Youngstown, OH—Crossing Paths Ministry
We tried to note markets where the match was being shown on another channel, and several of these stations plan to air the match on tape-delay, but since showing sports on tape-delay is bullshit, they get no credit.
Update: It's apparently being aired on a call letter-less subchannel in Milwaukee.
It would appear that a junkyard somewhere in the great state of New England put together this little slice of American pie that shows Eli Manning on a spit, being "roasted" by the "flames" of a "heaping wreck" of a Giants car after it had been destroyed by a Patriots Bronco. Give them credit, though. The fan-assisted flames gag is pretty ingenious. [Sweater Punch]
Your morning roundup for Feb. 5, the day we learned you hated America. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors..
What we're watching (all times EST, unless noted): NFL: Sunday NFL Contdown at 10:00 a.m. (ESPN), Super Bowl XLVI Pre-game at 2:00 p.m. (NBC) and Super Bowl XLVI at 6:00 p.m. (NBC).
The quotable Super Bowl: "'But labor activists aren't sure whether protesting around America's biggest sporting event - its world-wide television audience is expected to top 100 million - would generate sympathy or fuel anger that could damage their cause. "Union workers built that stadium, they should have the right to demonstrate in front of it," said retired steelworker Perry Stabler, as he demonstrated inside the Indiana statehouse.'
-The Wall Street Journal, February 1, 2012
***
'…He pulls for the Rams the way he pulls for the Afghans against the Russian military machine. At half-time a lot of girls in colored dresses and guys that look like fags in striped jerseys dance while about a thousand pieces of California brass imitate the old Big Bands with an off-key blare; these kids try to jitterbug but they don't have the swing, that one beat wait back on your heels and then the twirl… they snake together in what is supposed to be the Chattanooga Choo-Choo and then produce, out there in cloudless California, flashing sheets like tinfoil that are supposed to be solar panels. "Energy is people," they sing. "People are en-er-gy!" Who needs Khomeini and his oil? Who needs Afghanistan? Fuck the Russkis. Fuck the Japs, for that matter. We'll go it alone, from sea to shining sea.'
-John Updike, Rabbit is Rich" [The Classical]
Bill Maher says the NFL is a communist collective: "Let's consider the evidence: The NFL takes money from the richest teams and redistributes it to the poorer ones. Profits from television, the league's largest source of revenue, get dumped into a pot and divided evenly between the 32 teams. Whoever happens to win the Super Bowl gets the last pick in the draft. In other words, the NFL is rigged so that no single team can dominate year after year. As Maher says, that's 'what the Republicans would call punishing success.' Maher's basic point is that all this pinko sharing levels the playing field: Each team has just as much of a shot of making the Super Bowl as the next team, whether you play in the biggest, richest city in America or a 'sleepy little town on the banks of the fuck-if-I-know river,' which is to say, Green Bay." [Co.Design]
Aaron Rodgers wins NFL MVP, predicts future: "'It means a lot to be recognized as a consistent player and contributing on my team,' Rodgers said. "I think it's an award that relies on a player having the support of his teammates, obviously, guys blocking, guys running, guys catching, guys making plays. But I'm very honored to receive the award.' Speaking to Manning, who didn't miss a game for 13 seasons before 2011, Rodgers added: 'We're all really excited to see you back on the field next year.'" [ABC]
Your making and eating a sandwich Interlude:
Thing that happens every year happened this year: "The Giants.com page was headlined 'The Giants are Super Bowl champions!' and directed viewers to the availability of the team's championship gear, according to ESPN. The NFL said the website was prepared for release at the end of today's game if the Giants are victorious at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis. 'It is common practice for both teams to create web pages in advance of the conference championship games and Super Bowl,' the NFL said in a statement obtained by Bloomberg. 'In this case, the hidden URL for the page was inadvertently available for a brief period of time while it was being positioned on the NFL server for possible post tomorrow night.'" [Bloomberg]
Jeremy Lin, superstar: "Jeremy Lin cut through the Nets' defense all night before he was finally surrounded. As teammates hugged him at center court while Pearl Jam's "Jeremy" blasted through the arena, it was clear the New York Knicks had finally found a spark. And even the Harvard-educated Lin struggled to explain how it ended up being him. 'This night, it just hasn't really sunk in yet to be honest, he said. 'It's like I'm still kind of in shock about everything that happened but I'm just trying to soak it all in right now.' Lin scored a career-high 25 points and the Knicks salvaged the finale of a back-to-back-to-back set by the New Jersey Nets 99-92 on Saturday night. Lin came in to control a sluggish offense, adding a career-best seven assists while outplaying Nets All-Star point guard Deron Williams." [Wall Street Journal]
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to tips@deadspin.com.
"He knows that if he does this, I'll lose my daughter," Brian Cashman's mistress Louise Meanwell told me. This was the night of Jan. 31. Two days later, it was done: Meanwell—also known as Louise Neathway—was arrested and charged with extortion and harassment, with Cashman the victim of her alleged crimes. The day after that, Cashman's wife, Mary, filed for divorce, after 16 years of marriage.
What happened between Brian Cashman and Louise Meanwell? On Saturday, the Daily News—which was quick out of the gate portraying Meanwell as a deranged stalker—reported that a week before the NYPD arrested her, Cashman had tried to arrange to get her institutionalized, having his lawyer ask Meanwell's mother to call 911 and report her daughter as mentally unstable.
On Jan. 31, Meanwell had emailed me a recording of a phone call between her and Cashman in which she castigated him about the meeting between her mother and his lawyer. "No one told her what to say, and that call was made by her," Cashman says. "So goodbye. I'll talk to you with a lawyer. I will talk to you with a witness."
"You're a liar," Meanwell says.
"No, you know what? The truth—I guess the truth will come out," Cashman says.
Five months ago, when I first contacted Louise Meanwell/Neathway, she told me emphatically that she was not romantically involved with Brian Cashman. I had been looking into a different affair, Cashman's 2009 relationship with Kim Brennan, which broke up Brennan's marriage and strained Cashman's own. That led Cashman to move out of his household in Darien and into a new home in Rowayton.
I got a tip from a former friend of Meanwell's that her friend was also involved with Cashman. When I asked Meanwell about it, she said that she and Cashman were just friends, that they'd known each other for six years, but there was never anything physical between them. Our source sent an email, supposedly from Meanwell, to prove otherwise:
——-Original Message——-
From: Louisebrit*** [email address redacted]
To: [redacted]
Sent: Thu, Sep 08, 2011 5:14 pmHey sweet heart, apologies in not getting back to you today. Been running around for mum and doing some shopping (I may attempt to cook for Brian tonight lol).
Yes, all is going great. Finally getting to see him as mum is on vacation so he's coming to her house so no one see's him and the yanks are on the road. Can't wait to see him it's a very difficult situation for him. I think I may just rip his clothes off as soon as he walks in the door :-). I sometimes wish he wasn't who he was. Not being able to go anywhere without people being oh your Brian Cashman. It's very annoying. Anyhow, let's do brunch as soon as I'm back in the city?
Love you,
Louise xxxxxx
Louise told me her email had been hacked. She threatened to bring in a lawyer. She offered to pay me money not to run a story, even a story in which she would deny the allegations.
Eventually she calmed down, a little. To further establish the ridiculousness of her friend's (or hacker's) claims, she wrote me this:
And to note AJ. Brian would be out of his league with me im about 2 inches taller than him and about 10 years younger than him. All the money on this earth would not make me want to go there. Some women do have standards you know and he does not fit into mine, lol.......
By the end of January, though, she was showing me what she said were Cashman's toothbrush and his size-medium pajama pants. Height wasn't an obstacle after all. As for all the money on this Earth, apparently Yankee tickets were reason enough for romance.
When we met at her Leonard Street apartment on Jan. 27—the place where the NYPD would pick her up for arraignment—she told me how the affair had begun: "I first hooked up with him as a dare. My girls said it was a way for us to score tickets. You know, 'Take one for the team, Lou!'"
We had two beers as we talked. She was livid and anxious, and she showed me multiple records of her talks with Cashman, whom she'd been calling incessantly. She used a program called Trapcall, to hold the logs and to unmask the "blocked" numbers Cashman was calling her from.
During our conversation, Louise kept taking calls from her mother, Carolyn (or Caroline) Meanwell, and putting her on speakerphone. The mother claimed that both Cashman and his attorney, Eric Creizman, had visited her and were pleading with Carolyn to get Louise some help or else they would press charges. Louise refused those offers and told her mother that Brian was trying to manipulate her and scare her because she had threatened to go to the press about their affair.
Louise told me initially that her relationship with Cashman had soured just that week. During an argument, he had insinuated that Kim Brennan, his former mistress, "was hotter" than Louise. This enraged Meanwell, who deduced that Cashman must still be seeing Kim Brennan. Louise tracked down Brennan's Facebook page and confronted her (Brennan, as reported Saturday, has filed a restraining order against Louise.)
Louise
Wtf is wrong with you?? And you can't answer me??!?? Clearly from your deep lines and wrinkles your older than I. So one would think as a more mature woman u would have the balls!! Tramp15 hours ago Kim Brennan
Who are you ? Nothing to answer you about. Just leave me and my family alone please. Why the interest in my life ? A lot more out there for such a lovely girl like yourself, leave the elderly alone.15 hours ago Louise I don't know your family and don't want too. Please stay away from Brian. And thank you for your kind words. Yes, I know I'm attractive.
Don't wish to know your family. Stay away from Brian and his family I have done enough damage. And thanks for the kind words. I know I'm very attractive.15 hours ago Kim Brennan
I am sorry that you would feel the need to contact a complete stranger and say the things you are saying. I don't kow what you mean by saying "you have done enough damage" since you seem to know everything, and know brian maybe this conversation should be with him and not me.15 hours ago Louise
I know all about you Kim.
Stay away.
I don't care who I contact it's called balls. And I guess my constitutional right to freedom of speech.
His kiss have been devastated by your dirty dealings.
Kids.15 hours ago Kim Brennan
Stay away from who ? Are you threatening me now ? You know nothing.15 hours ago Louise
I'm saying please stay away from Brian and his family please. I don't make threats sweet heart.15 hours ago Kim Brennan
I think you are having a conversation with the wrong person.15 hours ago Louise
I know it all.
Em actually I'm having a convo with u both. Lol.15 hours ago Kim Brennan
good for you, but you know nothing and whatever you think you know is not true or accurate but you are right everyone is entitled to their opinion. I am sure brian will provide you with whatever answers you are looking for.15 hours ago Louise
He's trying.
Why can't u stay away?
Is it a monetary thing?15 hours ago Kim Brennan
Please leave me alone if you have any other questions I am sure you can get all the answers from brian, no need to contact me.14 hours ago Louise
So why r u sleeping with a married man
Just not right.14 hours ago Kim Brennan
Again I will tell you that you don't have any idea what you are talking about . I will ask you why are you contacting me ? And why do you have any interest in my life ? And if " you have done enough " like you say than why are you asking me anything ?14 hours ago Louise
Sweet heart. He's married with two beautiful kids. Why would u want to interfere in that?14 hours ago Louise
Typo meant u have done enough damage. I've done nothing to that family and nor would I. Brian adores his children and is never hurt then. But sometimes women just see $$ signs especially when they do not come from money themselves.14 hours ago Kim Brennan
Again, you should be talking to someone else. I have my own family.14 hours ago Louise
I'm on a phone and typing is shite.
I do too thank u.
So why after all the Brian's song bs would u still keep it going.
Dong lol
It's sick. Poor teddy and grace.14 hours ago Kim Brennan
I think you should find out all the facts before you contact someone you don't know and clearly no nothing about.14 hours ago Louise
Its not no its know
I don't care about u I care about Brian and his beautiful children.14 hours ago Kim Brennan
And I don't care about you either, you put yourself into a matter that you have no business being in. You assume you know things when you clearly don't. I don't understand why you would do that and who you even are, so why are you doing this ?14 hours ago Louise
Because I care about ted & grace suffering more than they have already. And I kinda feel bad 4 Mary.
And he's married do u not have morals.
Your a gold digger
I've known Brian for 7 years14 hours ago Kim Brennan
If you know brian so well why are you talking to me ? Why don't you speak with him ? You have the wrong person, you know nothing about me.14 hours ago Louise
It's not u I care about. It's about u ripping a family apart and clearly not even caring about it. What kind of person does that for gods sake.14 hours ago Kim Brennan
You don't know me at all, you know nothing about any of this. I haven't done anything, and I am not doing anything. Why is it of your concern I will never understand, but that is the truth.14 hours ago Louise
I don't want to know u. I want to know your not hurting those innocent kids anymore. It's not fair to them14 hours ago Kim Brennan
Haven't done anything.
When reached by phone, Brennan acknowledged her past relationship with Cashman, but said that the two are just friends now, and that whatever was going on between Louise and Brian is not her business.
On Tuesday, Jan. 31, Louise decided to further humiliate Brennan with a website inartfully called "KIM BRENNAN THE HOME WREAKER AND HUSBAND THEIF" (http://kimbrennanhomewreaker.blogspot.com/) It was live for a little more than five hours, then was taken down. Hours afterward, Louise told me that she realized Brennan wasn't at fault and apologized to her. "This all about Brian, that evil little man. It's not her," she yelled at me into the phone.
Tuesday evening, I met with Louise again at her apartment where she showed me some of the texts that she and her mother were receiving from Brian's attorney and her therapist, Charlotte Murphy. From the nature of the texts, it was obvious that both parties felt threatened by Louise's behavior. Louise—clearly under stress and frighteningly manic—railed on about how she was planning to sue both Cashman's attorney ("I'll have him disbarred!") and her therapist ("She will lose her license for sharing my information with Cashman!") . She was determined to press forward with the details of their affair should she get locked up. "He knows about my past! I've told him all about it. He knows that if he does this I'll lose my daughter!"
She also showed me this, an email she had sent Cashman on Jan. 27 containing a sonogram. She claimed this was a baby, fathered by Cashman, that she aborted at his request—presumably the unspecified "medical procedure" that the Times mentioned on Friday and that lies at the heart of the extortion charges.
From: Louise Neathway [redacted]
Date: 27 January 2012 12:57:33 EST
To: bmc@[redacted].com, [redacted]@txt.att.net
Subject: how can you live with this or sleep knowing your treating me like a piece of trash? please. when i look @ this it makes me cry-im going to get full records tomorrow from ob/gyn in case you pull anything with me.
Attached was this photo:
As Friday's divorce filing suggests, her relationship with Brian Cashman was not one-sided, nor was it a fantasy by any means. In the course of our two conversations in her apartment, she provided a detailed account of their affair. Some salient details:
• Louise saw her name pop up alongside Cashman's in the comments section of several websites beginning last summer. She claimed that she had been instructed by Cashman to reach out to the editors of these sites—CBSSports.com and ESPN, she said—to have those comments removed.
• Louise is still friendly with former pitcher Tanyon Sturtze. She showed me text messages between her and Tanyon, including one in which he jokes about going to the press with their affair unless Cashman gave him an assistant GM job. We tried to reach Sturtze for comment, without any luck.
• In Saturday's Daily News story, a former friend of Louise's is quoted as saying: "She used to be gorgeous, a pretty wild child. She claimed she had an affair with (a former Yankee slugger)." That slugger, according to a source was Jason Giambi. During my conversations with Louise, she mentioned Giambi several times and alluded to a past friendship with Giambi and his wife. They would socialize together, mostly at bars, she said. She also said Giambi was not a fan of Cashman.
• Louise said that Cashman was "very sweet, gentle, understanding" throughout most of their relationship, but when he did get angry in front of her, most of it stemmed from frustrations about the Yankees. "He'd talk a lot of shit about Joe Girardi," she said. In addition, Louise said that Cashman had become more touchy after his father was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer.
• Other Yankee frustrations: "He was so pissed off when Mariano went to the press about his throat thing and didn't run it through Yankee PR first."
• A more recent job gripe Louise heard from Cashman: "He was angry about some Puerto Rican or Dominican player. I forget his name. He was just traded to the Mariners. But Brian was frustrated because there was apparently some trouble with the player's visa." Top catching prospect Jesus Montero, a Venezuelan, was traded to the Mariners on Jan. 13. It took 10 days for the deal to go through, due to a visa issue.
• Louise and Cashman conspired to help cover up the affair by concocting a story that Cashman was helping Louise with her work with charitable organizations. Louise told me she and Brian never officially worked on charities together, but decided to create that appearance anyway. Louise had an idea. She had a blind friend whom she could introduce to Brian Cashman. The blind friend, Tom Lanzot, attended a Yankees game on June 10, 2011, and sat in Suite 46, Row 1, Seat 1, along with a sighted companion (also a longtime friend of Louise's). In a phone conversation, Lanzot confirmed that game he attended was set up thanks to Louise's relationship with Cashman. Lanzot said Cashman sat next to him for a portion of the game and that they briefly discussed Cashman helping out with his organization, VISIONS/Services for the Blind. "He was so nice to me," Lanzot said. "A perfect gentleman." Lanzot also received a game ball that day from Cashman. I asked Lanzot if he knew anything about the relationship between Louise and Cashman. He said it was clear that they knew each other and that Cashman "was willing to do things for her" but he did not pry into the extent of the relationship since that's not his business.
When pressed, though, Lanzot said that he assumed Cashman and Louise had a sexual relationship. "I had heard about Louise's past issues with her husband but I never knew she was capable of doing this sort of thing. However, she and Cashman knew each other for a while. If she was stalking him the whole time, he could have taken care of that a long time ago," Lanzot said. "He was still a perfect gentleman to me that day and I'm grateful for the time he gave me. But the most placid ones are sometimes the most devious, right?"
For ease of reference, we're reprinting Drew's chili recipe from the Jamboroo.
My wife does not care for chili. This makes her an avowed Communist and an enemy of the state, but I still love her nonetheless. I made a big pot of this chili last year for the Super Bowl, like I always do, and she complained about the whole house smelling like chili. I argued that it was GOOD for a house to smell like chili for six weeks. As far as I'm concerned, that raises the real estate value of any home by 10 percent. She disagreed. So this year, I'm taking my chili pot to a friend's house and making it there. I AM GOING WHERE ME AND MY CHILI WILL BE PROPERLY APPRECIATED, WOMAN.
Anyway, this recipe takes a bit of time to make, but I like it that way. I like spending Super Bowl Sunday in the kitchen, preparing a pot of chili that I will end up eating by myself at all hours of the day: for dinner, with my eggs, for lunch, on top of hot dogs, on top of spaghetti, cold out of the pot early in the morning, whenever. It's one of my favorite things to do in the world. I get so excited to eat it, you can hardly conceal my food boner. I even get excited when I go to the supermarket to buy the ingredients. Who gets a boner for canned corn? I DO.
FOR THE CHILI:
2 pounds ground beef or chicken (make sure it's a fatty percentage; too lean and it turns out all dry and crumbly and you will be less than a man)
1 onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, chopped
1 shallot, chopped
1 jalapeno, chopped
1 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes
1 16 oz. can tall red kidney beans, drained
1 16 oz. can corn, drained
1 can beer, any kind
1 16 oz. can chicken broth
1 tsp liquid smoke
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp fennel seed
2 tbsp cumin (add more at end if necessary)
2 tbsp chili powder (add more at end if necessary)
1/4 cup white vinegar
Salt & pepper to taste
Ashes from a joint (optional)
Lotta Frank's Hot Sauce
2 glugs olive oil
FOR THE SIDES:
Shredded cheese
Tortilla chips
Sour cream
Frank's hot sauce
1 bunch scallions, chopped (as always, don't skimp on the scallions)
Beer
Put a big pot on the stove on medium. Pour in the oil. When it's hot, toss in the onions, garlic, jalapeno, and shallots and stir them around until soft. Toss in the ground meat. Salt and pepper the ground meat in the pot. Sautee the meat until it's good and brown. Add the tomatoes, beans, corn, beer, broth, liquid smoke, sugar, cumin, chili powder, fennel seed, joint ashes, vinegar, and Frank's. Bring it to a simmer. Half cover the pot and leave it on low medium heat for 3-4 hours, stirring occasionally and always tasting. The liquid in the pot should reduce into a nice, thick stew. Dip in a chip to see if the chili sticks to it. If it does, it's ready to serve. Personally, I add about half a container of sour cream to my bowl. Sour cream in chili is the best goddamn thing ever.
A butthurt Nick Diaz announced he was "done with this shit" after losing a unanimous decision to Carlos Condit in tonight's UFC 143 welterweight interim title bout.
Diaz was favored to win the match, setting him up for a proper title challenge against Georges St-Pierre, who's recovering from a knee injury. Instead, despite taunting Condit throughout the fight, he went home a loser.
We only wish Diaz had gone on a bit longer and told a few more tales out of school, but he did a pretty decent job of trashing UFC as-is. So here you go, and enjoy. [UFC]
The rage came forth from Lakers coach Mike Brown in the final period of L.A.'s 96-87 loss to the Jazz tonight in Salt Lake City. It's unclear whether Brown made contact with the referee—which would earn him at least a one-game suspension—but his outburst earned him a double-technical, immediate ejection, and a sarcastic standing ovation from the Utah crowd. [Root Sports]
h/t to Jordan
Kevin Love gave Luis Scola a facial—and not the kind his porn-star epithet might suggest—that somehow eluded detection by referees. The league office, though, might not be so nearsighted. [FS Houston]
The Jacksonville Giants smashed the ABA's scoring record tonight by beating the Columbus Riverballers 211-84, breaking the record they set last year in a 206-102 win over the Georgia Gwizzlies.
211's also believed to be a world professional basketball scoring record, according to the broadcast.
This ABA shares nothing but a name with the one that merged with the NBA in 1976, and this is Jacksonville's second year of existence in the 12-year-old "new ABA." The current ABA features a ridiculous 86 teams, which might explain why some of the teams—like Columbus—appear to be made up of rec-league scrubs. But still, they're getting paid, and it's pro basketball, and the world has a new record.
Riverballer Darius Walker had some choice things to say on his Twitter account after the game:
I had bout 12 turnovers. Got my floater blocked by a 7 footer.
But we play da same team friday in col. I bet its gone b a different story
Niggas was leavin me by myself to dribble thru a press with niggas grabbin me like it was prison ball
Keep that chin up, Darius! [WCWJ]
The photo above is a picture tweeted by noted beefcake Darren Rovell as he lamented the talent assembled for Playboy's annual Super Bowl party. In his own words "Quality of Playboy Playmates last night was not what it used to be. Here's 6 of the 16 girls with @SHAQ."
Tough times, but this is about more than just Rovell's right as a red-blooded American male to have only the finest ladies standing around him at some Super Bowl meet and greet. No, this is about business. Sports business.
See? Don't bring those weak-ass business practices and expect Darren Rovell not to cover it. And cover it he did, bitching and complaining all along about the looks of the girls. One of the Bunnies present, Jaime Edmondson, however, was not about to let Rovell get away with it.
She called Rovell out for being rude, while also noting that it's not always about looks and that she has a degree in criminology. She also gave the low down on what really set Rovell off. As usual, it involved his precious invention, Twitter.
What really sparked the rude comment that @darrenrovell made (because I was there) is that when he asked to take a photo w/ me on the red carpet, the closest person to us was on the phone and advised they were unavailable because they were in the middle of handling an issue at VIP check in and to see if someone else could take it...he then said to me in a snotty fit "Oh not even for my 175,000 Twitter followers" and stormed away
Rovell's response was simple. "why am I not allowed to comment on looks? That's what every single man who paid for that party came to see." Also, they didn't even serve food. So what, exactly, is one supposed to get for "$1000..."?
Darren Rovell: sports business reporter, ladies and gentleman.
Top 15-ranked Creighton fell to Northern Iowa in painful fashion today, after a tying three-pointer was overruled by a buzzer-beating three at the other end.
Bluejay Antoine Young hit the triple with four seconds left to tie the score at 62, only to see UNI's Anthony James sink the buzzer-beater at the other end—which prompted the rare appropriate court-storming. [Fox Sports/ESPN Buzzer Beater]
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The Patriots announce earlier this evening that they would be signing rookie DE
Anthony Alex Silvestro from the practice squad to the 53-man roster. Since the Patriots already had a full roster of 53 men, Silvestro's addition required a corresponding subtraction. The Patriot way.
Exit: Tiquan Underwood. Underwood is perhaps best known for his attempt to bring back the hi-top fade but he can now add a football-related claim to fame—released the night before the biggest game of his life by the worst dressed man in the history of football.
Update (7:45 p.m.) As commenter TheShortMan notes, Underwood was involved on the play that precipitated Tom Brady's bitchfest with Patriots' assistant coach and newly-hired Penn State head coach, Bill O'Brien.
DE Silvestro signed to active roster; WR Tiquan Underwood released [Patriots.com]
A longtime Boston media beef came to another head last night, one which has WEEI broadcasting personality John Dennis blasting ESPN's Scott Van Pelt Show co-host Ryen Russillo as an alcoholic and alleging Russillo was forcibly ejected from ESPN's own Super Bowl party.
If you're unfamiliar with the genesis of this hatefest, listen to this 2005 voicemail left by Dennis for Russillo in which he attacks Russillo's attempt to seduce his daughter (no, really). TBL claims the two got into a verbal altercation last night at the ESPN shindig, and certainly both characters are reflecting that something went down on their Twitter accounts—with Dennis saying Russillo was "unintelligible" while Russillo openly wants to fight Dennis.
In the end, they both sound like wannabe tough-guy douchenozzles. And that's probably what they are—Dennis, at least, has a history of being a racist. But if anybody out there can provide a bit more context into what went down in Indianapolis last night between the two, let us know.
Update (7:25 p.m.): Dennis claims Van Pelt apologized to him after the incident.
Update (10:22 p.m.): Here's the report from reader Mark:
I saw the altercation. it was in an alley outside the Bud Light
Hotel. Defintiely wasn't the ESPN party. Rusillo definitely got in
Dennis' face. Dennis didn't make eye contact with Ryan and walked
away. Dennis always looks wasted when I see him so it's hard to tell
if he was drinking or not! Ryan left with a few guys and that was
about it. Didn't even have time to videotape anything.
I'm not sure what the Bud Light Hotel is—last time I was in Indy I stayed at a Hampton Inn—but the details are interesting. Mark wrote back to clarify that the fight "definitely happened" after 2 a.m., and we know how wonderfully things turn out that take place after that hour.
Update (10:33 p.m.): Talk Superstation reminded me that the Bud Light Hotel is where that Playboy party was happening, which just ties everything together perfectly.
As per Adam Schefter, the honorees are Jack Butler, Dermontti Dawson, Chris Doleman, Cortez Kennedy, Curtis Martin and Willie Roaf. No Bill Parcells and no wide receivers.
Here's a messed up story and proof that those steak heads you went to high school with never, ever change. From a tipster who wishes to remain anonymous, a youth basketball league in California is about to kick off its playoff season next week and sent out a friendly reminder to coaches notifying them of the rules going forward. In part and [sic]'d:
Hi Guy's,
It is hard to believe but the end of the season is here. This coming week is the last week of the regular season. Great job to all of you! Please don't measure your success as a coach on whether or not your team made the play offs, you should be very proud of the difference you have made in the lives of your player's, how you have helped build their skills and how you taught them about the game of basketball. You are all winners in my book.
With that said, I wanted to make sure that we are all on the same page as we enter a very interesting weekend of games:
All player minute minimums / maximums are in effect this weekend and in the play offs / championship games
My expected behaviors of you remain the same for the remainder of the season
This weekend after your game the score keepers will be giving you a participant medal for all of your player's. Everyone gets a participant medal / 1st &2nd place teams will receive trophies on Feb. 11th
Seems pretty standard. Every kid plays and every kid gets a medal. Welcome to American youth sports. One man, however, won't stand for it. He's not going to sit idly by as a bunch of spazzes ruin it all for the real winners on his team. So, let's just double check on that "every has to play rule" shall we?
Hey Jordan,
Do we really have to let ALL the players play once the playoffs start?
Last year I told our most inferior player the wrong time hoping he would miss the game....he checked the website - showed up and pretty much cost us the game - season. I have 6 solid boys that can bring home a CHAMPIONSHIP!! players 7, 8, 9 & 10 KILL US. Over my dead body will I play those kids & screw things up for the talented players.Michael
Oh, man. Take all that in and let it simmer a bit. Here we have a leader and role model—an adult male responsible for shaping our youth and instilling in them the confidence to succeed at anything if they would only try—openly admitting to intentionally lying to a child about when his game starts. The kid just wants to play, so much so that he actually double checked what his asshole coach told him and wound up making it in time for the game anyway. In his misguided search for a "CHAMPIONSHIP!!" for the "talented players" (read: jocks he relates to) he failed to realize that the "inferior" player showed the kind of dedication and determination that we should value as human beings and teammates. And it's something most of us learn when we grow up—some quicker than others.
As if you needed further proof of just what a colossal ass this guy is, he was relieved of his volunteer duties shortly after sending the email.
In past years I've used the Saturday before the Super Bowl to handicap the field for the next cover of Madden NFL. Since the last time I did that, EA Sports put the honors up to a fan-voted, 32-player tournament in 2011, and on Thursday announced it was doubling that field to 64 for 2012.
That makes the job of prognosticating the cover star of Madden NFL 13 a little more time consuming and complex, but I'm up to it. Given what I know of this game, the league, and EA Sports' relationships with the NFL's top performers, here are my picks for the entire field of 64 when it is announced on March 7.
Madden NFL is the progenitor of the modern video game cover, both as a career honor and a marketing concept. It is the 21st century's Wheaties box. No other video game gets a fan base to argue or even care this much who ends up on its packshot.
In making my predictions below, known existing relationships with EA Sports' marketing operations carried the most weight, especially if the player appeared in last year's cover contest playoff. No prior association to Madden likewise counted against a player, especially if he is a longtime veteran. So-called skill positions on offense (receiver, running back, quarterback) have an advantage over defensive positions.
In short, a team's best, highest or mos decorated player —Eli Manning or Tom Brady, for example—may not be on this list. That's not its purpose. We're trying to guess who EA Sports has nominated, considering that if that person wins out, the two sides must be able to agree to some kind of contract terms.
This year's fan-voted contest will begin with a two-week "play-in" round matching players from the same team, to determine which one represents the franchise in the main draw. Once the play-in round is resolved, the entire bracket will be seeded.
As those matchups are unknown, I'm not prognosticating the entire tournament here, just who represents each team in the first and second rounds, and the winner's relative strength against the rest of the field.
Buffalo Bills: Receiver Steve Johnson fell in the first round of last year's cover vote. Absent any compelling alternative, he should return. The best top-of-mind alternative is quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, whose Harvard bio would make for a nice twist in the tale of this tournament.
• Picks: Fitzpatrick beats Johnson. Or the other way around. Neither goes past the first round.
Miami Dolphins: As thoroughly average as this team is, it does have a few names worthy of mention: wide receiver Brandon Marshall, and Reggie Bush, who held the cover of NCAA Football 2007. Lineman Jake Long was Miami's representative in last year's contest.
• Picks:Long and Bush, with Long winning out and going nowhere after that.
New England Patriots: Should be an easy call here. Danny Woodhead represented the team last year, prized for his personal story of being cut in the Jets' pre-season camp. If not Woodhead, all-pro receiver Wes Welker, and Rob Gronkowski, at tight end, just burst on the scene, too. Don't overlook BenJarvus Green-Ellis
• Picks: Woodhead and Welker have lost their appeal outside of the Hub. Go with Ellis and Gronk. Either will be stopped by by anti-Patriot backlash in the second round.
New York Jets: Quarterback Mark Sanchez may present a mixed bag in terms of results but he's the quarterback in a major media market and has solid ties to EA Sports, in both last year's contest and this last minute promotional video signaling the end of the lockout. LaDanian Tomlinson will probably retire; Santonio Holmes is a malcontent. Plaxico Burress almost shot his leg off in a night club. I think Darrelle Revis and EA have a promotional relationship—he's at least received a custom PS3 that the label sends out to its celebrity ambassadors.
• Picks: Sanchez and Revis, in the closest teammate matchup of the bracket, with Revis emerging.
Baltimore Ravens: Also an easy call here. Running back Ray Rice just won a vote-off to make the virtual cover of NFL Blitz. He also represented Baltimore last year. Future hall-of-fame linebacker Ray Lewis appeared on the cover of Madden NFL 2005 and has a good relationship with EA Sports (appearing on their behalf at E3 last summer).
• Picks: Lewis emerges on name recognition, but only goes as far as the final eight depending on seeding. Yeah, some people are going to make a stink about Lewis' involvement in an infamous double-murder case more than 10 years ago. (Charges were dropped; he was convicted of obstruction of justice.) They make a big stink about that any time he's mentioned.
Cincinnati Bengals: Lots of fresh faces on the Bengals make their two delegates a toss-up of a guess. I'm going with quarterback Andy Dalton and reciever A.J. Green, both rookies. There's no history working against either and a rookie QB/WR pairing is a neatly marketable concept.
• Picks: Dalton, by virtue of being a quarterback, may win a first-round matchup if he gets a favorable seeding.
Cleveland Browns: The only NFL franchise to mobilize a get-out-the-vote push for its candidate last year, don't dismiss the Browns Backers. They got Peyton Hillis on the Madden cover despite the most lackluster resume of any cover star at the time of selection. Hillis may not return to the team next year, thanks to both injury and a malcontent season that many fans found off-putting. He's also an unrestricted free agent coming into this season.
• Picks: All-pro offensive lineman Joe Thomas is the field's Joe Lunchpail representative. Josh Cribbs makes the cut for his versatility and special teams dynamism. He's also under contract, which is a key distinction among any candidate on this team.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and linebacker James Harrison are basically ineligible here, given their past. That's fine, Hines Ward represented the team last year, and Troy Polamalu graced the cover of Madden NFL 10
• Picks: Ward's an obvious pick. And am I looking at Troy Polamalu's hair? No! Am I looking at Troy Polamalu's hair? Yes ...
Houston Texans: Running back Arian Foster was at Madden Bowl XVIII. Receiver André Johnson represented Houston in last year's bracket. They'll both rep the Texans this year, following the franchise's first playoff appearance.
• Picks: Foster wins in a rout, and has great appeal, name recognition, and fantasy football value. He is easily a final four pick across the entire tournament.
Indianapolis Colts: This is where it gets vexing. Last year, EA Sports tabbed defensive end Dwight Freeney but he could be gone next year if the Colts clean house, as is expected. Reggie Wayne was a candidate in EA Sports' first try at this, a three-way voteoff for the Madden NFL 11 cover. But he also just played the final year of his contract. Ditto Jeff Saturday, who's an offensive lineman to boot. Peyton Manning wouldn't be in the tournament even if he was healthy and signed. Andrew Luck can't be tapped until he's actually drafted. There are almost no good options.
• Picks: Receiver Pierre Garçon and tight endDallas Clark, with either getting blown out in the first round.
Jacksonville Jaguars: The Jaguars have one star, and it is all-pro running back Maurice Jones-Drew, who was in last year's Madden cover vote. Slim pickings after MJD though. Rookie quarterback Blaine Gabbert? Montell Owens?
• Picks: Gonna go with MJD and Gabbert here. I don't know a thing about the Jaguars after those two gentlemen. Neither does most of America.
Tennessee Titans: Another easy pairing. Chris Johnson is their most recognizable star, at running back, and appeared in the cover vote last year. Backup quarterback Jake Locker, a rookie first-round draft pick, was in the NCAA Football 12 cover vote. I'd love it if Cortland Finnegan made the field. No way in hell that happens, not with Andre Johnson representing Houston.
• Picks: Chris Johnson trounces Locker but after that, wins one round at best, depending on seeding.
Denver Broncos: As I have written, if Tim Tebow is in this tournament, then it's Tebow's tournament to lose. Whatever you think of him as a person or player, he was unquestionably one of the NFL's most visible performers and compelling stories this past season. While he faces a considerable anti-vote, he also has enormous name recognition and should have sizeable get-out-the-vote backing. And churches won't lose their tax-exempt status if they tell their congregations to go vote for this man.
• Picks: Tebow will be joined by linebacker Von Miller. Tebow bulldozes to the final round, at least, and if he gets that far I can't imagine him losing to anyone else in this field.
Kansas City Chiefs: An unfortunate ACL tear cost Jamaal Charles practically all of the 2011 season. It would be too strange to vote on a guy coming back from a career-threatening injury, and I doubt he'd agree to participate for those reasons, too. That leaves a very bare cupboard for the Chefs.
• Picks: Matt Cassel did work for another football game. Kyle Orton was a midseason pickup, cast off from the Broncos. I'm searching for a good pairing here, so I'll go with former LSU teammates Dwayne Bowe (wide receiver) and Glenn Dorsey (defensive line).
Raida Organization: As a former NCAA Football cover star, and last year's representative, Darren McFadden is a lock here. Don't laugh, but Carson Palmer was on the cover of NCAA Football 2004. That may be ancient history, though.
• Picks: McFadden and receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey. Whatever his opposition, McFadden wins out and wins one round, tops.
San Diego Chargers: Total no-brainer pairing here. Quarterback Philip Rivers, who was a No. 1 seed last year in the bracket's toughest region. Tight end Antonio Gates has a strong promotional history with EA Sports.
• Picks: Rivers beats his favorite target and wins two rounds, depending on where he's seeded. The Chargers failed to reach the playoffs a second straight year and are a franchise in turmoil. Rivers didn't have a great season, costing him the fantasy-owner vote. Hard to see either getting far despite their big names.
Dallas Cowboys: DeMarcus Ware represented the team last year and should return. Tony Romo is another big-name quarterback who would have gotten involved before now if he was interested, so he's out. As for second options, DeMarco Murray was in the NCAA 12 cover contest. He had a reasonable year for a rookie, but isn't the team's first option at running back. The alternatives are guys like Dez Bryant or Felix Jones. Jason Witten appeared in Quickhit NFL, likely ruling him out.
• Picks: Ware, and I'll hold my nose and take Murray, as it won't really matter who the No. 2 option is here. It also won't matter who the No. 1 option is. Everyone hates the Cowboys, and their representative gets voted off the island in round one.
New York Giants: Again, Eli Manning would have been on the cover by now if he had any intention of doing so, so he is out. It's hard not to like a pairing of the Giants' eye-catching wide receivers, Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz, the latter of whom has a great Horatio Alger story and just played a breakout year. Jason Pierre-Paul is a fine option, but defensive players didn't do well in last year's voting.
• Picks: The receivers, with Nicks winning the play-in and lasting one round, tops.
Philadelphia Eagles: Despite all his baggage, Michael Vick reached the final round of last year's cover vote with EA Sports none the worse for wear. There's no reason not to bring him back this year. He'll be paired with receiver DeSean Jackson, who has appeared in Madden promotions before.
• Picks: Vick beats Jackson, but coming off a weaker season, won't make it as far as he did last year. Wins two rounds, tops.
Washington Redskins: GEICO tried its damndest all year to make Brian Orakpo a household name, in an advertisement that should win Orakpo's agent a lifetime achievement award. The rest of the country doesn't know who the hell he is, but he did represent the Shanaclan in last year's cover vote and there's no better option on this sad bunch.
• Picks: Orakpo and linebacker Ryan Kerrigan, who had a solid rookie season out of Purdue, with a big game-changing interception against the Giants in the Sept. 11 season opener.
Chicago Bears: Running back Matt Forte was on the blue carpet at Madden Bowl XVIII, so he's a lock to represent the Bears. Julius Peppers was the Bears' representative in last year's field. No reason to go against the grain here.
• Picks: Forte wins out and loses in the first round.
Detroit Lions: This is tricky because I don't know what kind of relationship, if any, EA Sports has with Matt Stafford or if they're working on bringing in Calvin Johnson. Obviously, if they have access to Megatron, he becomes a solid favorite to win it all, but if EA Sports had anything going with him, he would have been down on Madden Bowl's blue carpet. Ndamukong Suh represented the Lions in last year's tournament, but the league may have a problem with someone it's repeatedly fined appearing on the cover of its official video game. Not that either he or Nick Fairley would get very far. Fairley was in the four-man field vying for the NCAA Football 12 cover last year, but he is Suh's backup and was practically anonymous in his rookie season.
• Picks: Suh prevails over someone we haven't heard from yet, like Jahvid Best at running back, who spent about half of the season on the injured list. But unless Stafford or Johnson get into the act, Detroit is one-and-done in the tournament, just like it was in the playoffs this year.
Green Bay Packers: With Aaron Rodgers and Clay Matthews Jr. involved in Madden NFL 12's promotion, there's no reason to believe they wouldn't be in the field here—unless EA Sports doesn't pass Rodgers' discount double-check, now that he's a huge endorsement figure. If the quarterback doesn't sign up, I'd pee my pants if they got Greeeeeeg Jennnnnnnnings to do it.
• Picks: I'm gonna go with my heart over my head and say Matthews and Jennings, not Rodgers. Jennings is an immensely likeable person, has been a great sport about his notoriety in Demetry James' video, and EA Sports itself has no problem referencing it, as evidenced by the "Put Da Team on Your Back," achievement in Madden NFL 12. EA Sports wants stories it can sell through this tournament, and Jennings' makes him a very dangerous competitor. Also a deeply religious man, Jennings would be the only one who could take down Tebow in the final round, splitting the Christian vote and picking up mainstream fans who love the Packers and/or that video. I say he at least makes the final four.
Minnesota Vikings: The Vikes' representative last year was Adrian Peterson and he tore his ACL on Christmas Eve. Absent that he'd be one of the top four contenders in this field. Peterson may not want to be up for a Madden cover in a rehab season, and EA Sports may not want to put him up to such an awkward situation. That leaves Jared Allen as the leading representative. The defensive lineman was in the 2010 vote-off against Wayne and Drew Brees and appeared in this pre-season promotion for Madden NFL 12. No reason he shouldn't return.
• Picks: Allen and punter Chris Kluwe. If any active pro football player truly connects with video gamers, it's Kluwe, a World of Warcraft devotee who also turned Peterson on to Magic: The Gathering. He'd be a great novelty selection, especially considering anyone other than Peterson would lose to Allen.
Atlanta Falcons: The clear choices are quarterback Matt Ryan, who was in the 2011 cover playoff, and wide receiver Roddy White who was a candidate for NFL Blitz's virtual cover back in December.
• Picks: Ryan wins the play-in. His problem is Atlanta fans have a deservedly fair-weather reputation. With no get-out-the-vote muscle, the semifinals are as far as Ryan advances even given his name recognition and marquee position.
Carolina Panthers: Quarterback Cam Newton is the most visible Panther. He wouldn't have represented the franchise in last year's vote because it had yet to draft him. That said, he didn't have any association with NCAA Football in the one year he'd have been expected to (insert joke about $180,000 demands here.) It's more likely that he's not in the field, but I wouldn't rule him out. Steve Smith, the franchise's all-time leading receiver is the only other obvious choice, but if he wasn't in last year's field, why would he be in this year's?
• Picks: Newton's in Indianapolis as a celebrity coach for the annual beach-football tournament, so if he and EA Sports were involved, he'd have been at least scheduled to appear in Madden Bowl's celebrity crowd. Outside of him, this is the most anonymous team in the field. Jordan Gross, an offensive lineman, represented the franchise in last year's tournament, so let's say he returns. Assuming Smith and Newton aren't involved, the hell with it, I'll pick the pride of Appalachian State, Armanti Edwards. I don't think running back Jonathan Stewart or tight ends Jeremy Shockey or Ben Hartsock have what EA Sports wants.
New Orleans Saints: EA Sports has several options here. Tight end Jimmy Graham was just at Madden Bowl XVIII, teaming with quarterback Drew Brees to win the celebrity tournament. Brees was featured on the cover of Madden NFL 11, was in the cover playoff last year, and has a great relationship with the label. If he wants to sit this out, there's always running back Mark Ingram, who was on the cover of NCAA Football 12 and also won a four-way fan vote for the honor, thanks to Alabama's fan base.
• Picks: Brees and Ingram, with Brees emerging. No one's been on the cover twice, and no one has been on the cover of em>Madden and NCAA Football in consecutive years. Both are easily marketable stories. But after a record-breaking year, Brees would be considered at least a darkhorse candidate to win it all, with only his previous appearance working against him with egalitarian-minded voters.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: After missing the playoffs at 10-6 in 2010, good things were expected of the Bucs in 2011. They didn't happen. There are plenty of damaged goods here as a result. No way in hell Albert Haynesworth gets a look. The Bucs had one Pro Bowl pick, an offensive lineman, so forget that, too. Josh Freeman at quarterback, is the team's de facto face. After him, there's really only Kellen Winslow, Jr.
• Picks: Freeman and Winslow, with Freeman prevailing and losing early.
Arizona Cardinals: Receiver Larry Fitzgerald shared the Madden NFL 10 cover, represented the team last year, and is as good a pick here as any in the field. Patrick Peterson just completed an electrifying Pro Bowl rookie year in which he returned four punts for a touchdown, tying him for a single-season record. His sensational 99-yard return to win in overtime against St. Louis is one of the year's greatest highlights.
• Picks: Fitzgerald and Peterson, with Fitzgerald winning out. He can win three rounds with favorable seeding.
San Francisco 49ers: Linebacker Patrick Willis is a shoo-in, as a dominant performer, an NFL Blitz cover candidate, and the Niners' representative last year. After Willis, it's tight end Vernon Davis or running back Frank Gore.
• Picks Davis prevails and wins one round at the most.
St. Louis Rams: Quarterback Sam Bradford, injured for much of 2011, may not return to the cover tournament. The best available players after Bradford are Chris Long and Steven Jackson.
• Picks: Bradford and Jackson, either bowing out in the first round.
Seattle Seahawks: Don't expect the gimmicky 12th Man to reappear this year, although Marshawn Lynch may be unavailable for money, personality, or a combination of the two. Outside of Lynch, the best options are receivers Golden Tate or Mike Williams. Cornerback Marcus Trufant was injured while the season was barely underway.
• Picks: Seattle's about as dire a situation as Carolina or Indianapolis. Take Lynch and Tate, but it's a crapshoot for either. None wins a single round.
I hate those faux walls they put up behind basketball announcers during booth shots. You know what I'm talking about, those screens they erect to make it look like the broadcasters are in a studio while simultaneously blocking the view of people up front who are trying to watch Quick Change or Frisbee Dog or the Zooperstars or whatever else entertainment is happening on the court during the break. They're deceptive and silly and overall an annoyance.
Then you watch today's Ohio State-Wisconsin game and realize, hey, maybe those things really do have a purpose. [ESPN]
This is a Deadspin Video, in which strange sports moments are slowed down to ridiculous speeds and matched with indie music. This video features "Turn The TV Off " by Love Is All. See previous episodes here.
Have you heard that video is a big thing over at Gawker Media? It's true, we watch and post a lot of videos each week. Here are some of the best videos of week, culled from an array of Gawker Media sites.
For Kristen Bell's 31st birthday, fiancé Dax Shepard decided to surprise her with a visit from her favorite animal, the sloth. The excitement of the introduction was too much for Kristen to handle and ended up sending her into a complete emotional breakdown. The whole thing caught on tape is truly something to behold. I mean, who would have known that Veronica Mars was such a softie?. View »
Did you guys watch Luck on HBO last night? Did you fall asleep like I did? Well, if you tuned in you saw the most exciting thing before the show even started: a new trailer for Game of Thrones. View »
It's apparently the '80s all over again, with Doc Brown's "Back To The Future" DeLorean now joining Ferris Bueller in this leaked Bud Light Super Bowl ad spot. Great Scot! View »
It's only halfway through the abbreviated NBA season, so I'm hesitant to dub anything dunk of the year. But here it is, dunk of the year-and of course it's from Blake Griffin. Kendrick Perkins's family requests no flowers be sent. View »
A Cessna 172B pilot in Mexico had to save his plane after his airplane propeller detached in flight. Yes, detached. Plonk. You can see the action from the cockpit in this video, including the exhilaration and relief of the passengers at the end. View »
Last week the world wondered what Matthew Broderick was up to in a short ten-second teaser clip on YouTube where he appeared to be playing Ferris Bueller, the character from his famous flick "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." View »
Mitt Romney appeared on CNN's Starting Point with Soledad O'Brien this morning to gloat over yesterday's win in Florida and instead told her he doesn't care about poor people. Romney said his "current focus is not on the poor" as "we have a safety net there," and he instead plans to focus on all those suffering members of the middle-class. View »
In addition to his love of saturated colors, precocious children and Bill Murray, Wes Anderson really enjoys stylized shots from above. See evidence here. View »
Brant Widgeon, an Astronomical Image Enhancement Engineer at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center*, explains his experience creating all those amazing space images that leave the entire world in awe. What the entire world doesn't know is how they are really created. View »
This whole video of teens dancing at a Hong Kong Apple store is entertaining. But go to around 1:06 and check out the moves of the girl in white. Her face is like the face someone would make while carving an ice block into a statue of a machine gun, with a chainsaw. View »
This is a video of 'The Stuntbusters' - Speed TV's artisanal automotive show that I think just sets crap on fire - blow up and flip what looks like a 1974-1980 MG Midget 1500 at 1000 frames per second. View »
I'm a sucker for these multiple-track music videos. This guy is Nick McKaig, and he's extremely good at reproducing songs using just his voice. Here's the proof: the Simpsons' theme sung a capella. View »
UConn, America's foremost institution of sports riots and male rage, is in uproar after student-run (and student-funded) television network UCTV aired a sketch comedy segment that depicted a crying girl using a blue-light phone while fleeing a possible rapist. As she attempts to escape, the robotic blue-light voices call her a "cock gobbler," a "stinky bitchy," a "blonde bitch," and a "howler monkey bitch" who is "crying rape." The sketch ends with the girl falling to the ground after her attacker strangles her in a dark parking lot. View »
We are familiar with the James O'Keefe of today, certainly, what about the O'Keefe of yesterday? Before he was a fugitive, professional ambusher and rabble-rouser, James O'Keefe led the life of a simple teen-aged student, wandering aimlessly through the halls of his high school humming "Life is a Highway." View »
You ever look at a race car driver's neck and wonder why they're usually so thick? Watch this video of a woman trying to keep her head in one place while being battered around the Abu Dhabi Yas Marina track in a two-seat Formula One car. Whiplash! View »
While I'm hesitant to praise ESPN First Take blowhard Stephen A. Smith for anything, an exception can be made for moments of distinguished valor-or at least doing something every single one of us has wanted to do on multiple occasions, like flipping Skip Bayless the bird. Last week Terrell Suggs called Bayless a douchebag, which means we're on a bit of a roll here. Maybe next week will bring the words to Skip Bayless on which we've been waiting far too long: "You're fired." View »
NASA said that their Blue Marble 2012 was "the most amazing image of Earth ever." Now they have released the other half, answering to popular demand. View »
How sweet of Teleflora to remind us ladies, just in case we forgot how gift-giving works, that we are obligated to have sex with our man if he does anything nice for us this Valentine's Day... Honestly, they fucked this thing up so badly that I think they owe themselves a bouquet! View »
Now that Stephen Colbert is no longer running for the President of the United States of South Carolina, he went to retrieve his Super PAC (and its money) from Jon Stewart. But Stewart wasn't going to give it up without a fight. Tonight's Colbert Report opened with their long and arduous chase. Here it is. View »
[Image via Shutterstock]
According to the Massachusetts arm of Obama For America, a vote for the Pats is a vote for Obama. But if history is to be our guide, Obama should be pulling for the Giants. President Obama and a New York Giants vs. New England Patriots Super Bowl are inextricably linked. Think back to just four short years ago: The Giants won the Super Bowl in 2008 and Obama won the White House.
Evidently unaware that its historical allusions spell certain disaster for either its boss or favorite team (not to mention that the President was inaugurated in 2009), Obama For America's Massachusetts office is trying to recapture the magic of merely being in the Super Bowl by inciting a twitter war with the State of New York.
If you live in Massachusetts, you probably know about two major events that happened in 2008: President Barack Obama was inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States, and the New England Patriots faced off against the New York Giants in the Super Bowl.
In 2012, we're at it again, growing a strong grassroots organization that's working every day to reelect President Obama and cheering on the Patriots in the Super Bowl against the Giants. But this year, we're wicked excited about a Patriots win-so we're entering into a friendly competition with our friends from the OFA team in New York.
While we're allies on the organizing field, in the spirit of the Super Bowl, we're squaring off to see which state can get the most new Twitter followers by the time the game starts on Sunday. Here in New England we all know that like the President, the Patriots have the better team, more experience, and the skills to win in big game situations-and we're ready to prove it.
So if you love the New England Patriots and you want to know the latest about what's happening with the Obama campaign in Massachusetts, help us beat New York by following us on Twitter and making sure your friends and neighbors do too. Let's beat New York!
While Massachusetts may be brimming with confidence, according to President Obama's very scientific poll, the rest of the country thinks New York will win.
So go ahead and vote for your favorite team, or follow your favorite Obama For America office. Personally, I'm just waiting for all the shameless whoring for twitter followers to end. That's change I can believe in.
Ready for a Super Bowl-and Twitter-Win on Sunday [BarackObama.com]
My wife works in a hospital in what one would call an "under-served" community. She sees your typical gunshot wounds, stabbings, things shoved up anuses that should not be shoved up anuses. The community being what it is, impoverished, uneducated and drug addicted, many of these patients are also HIV positive.
One such patient came through the ER last week and was a little grumpy, and covered in blood. They are always grumpy—for whatever reason, a lot of the patients also lash out at the people there to serve them. My wife's colleague, a resident at the hospital, was not even treating this man; he didn't know what was wrong with the guy (other than being covered in blood). He was just dropping off some orders and the man happened to be in the area where those orders needed to be dropped. That's when this poor doctor-in-training began what will surely be a terrible, terrible month. Having someone spit blood on you is upsetting enough, but when the spitter also has deadly aim and the blood lands in your eyes and in your mouth, it's about as upsetting as it gets. Unless the spitter also shouts, "I have AIDS, bitch!" before actually spitting blood into your mouth and eyes. That makes it upsetting and terrifying.
The resident was immediately hooked up to a Morgan lens (pictured), which is essentially a plastic contact lens hooked up to a tube that sprays water in your eye for, like, a half hour. Water gets everywhere, soaking your clothes, and oh yeah, there's a hunk of plastic inside your eye splashing out AIDS- and hepatitis-laden blood. While AIDS rightfully got top billing, the spitter failed to mention that, yes, he also had hepatitis. Blood tests confirmed both.
Then the resident, who, as luck would have it, had recently cut the inside of his mouth while eating, was given what is called a post-exposure prophylaxis, or PEP, kit. It is essentially the same medicine people who actually have HIV are given, and it is a highly regimented system that requires exact compliance. It also makes you shit your brains out for a month.
So consider yourself lucky next time Joe in Receivables or whoever steals your lunch. At least you don't work in a place where some strung-out lunatic might spit infectious blood in your face and force you to piss shit for the next 30 days.
By now, it's become clear that our incredible story of bitchiness and greed could not be so tidily wrapped and bowed. Sokhon Sen, the woman Jason Elia referenced by twitter handle on the Houston radio show (that portion, by the way has since been bleeped out), has come out and denied the whole thing.
I have been emailing with most of the parties involved here, including the radio host and admitted Jason Elia friend, John Wessling and Sokhon Sen herself. Despite my attempts, Jason Elia is the only person in this weird story that I have not heard from.
After posting the story last Sunday I got two emails relatively quickly. One was from Jason Elia. He wanted to let me know that I had gotten some facts wrong. Facts that were included in the initial email from his friend and radio host, John Wessling, to our tip box. He was relatively friendly, if not a little pushy. This would be the last I would hear from him.
The second email was from John Wessling asking that I mention his show's name, his twitter handle and reference his partner. We were also informed that, as the story went viral, Jason changed the rules—it wouldn't be the last time—instead of giving the tickets away at some point during the Pro Bowl, he would cut the contest off on the following Tuesday. He had received so many followers it was getting hard to track it properly. Or maybe he wanted to ride the wave of notoriety for all it was worth. Who really knows.
On Monday, The Daily Mail published its story with quotes and emails from Sohkon Sen. I contacted her on twitter and asked that she email me. She sent me what appear to be emails between her and Elia and a copy of the email she provided to the Mail.
Below is the statement I released:
I met Jason Elia in the late summer of 2011, approximately in August. I went out to visit him in October. It was the first and last time I ever saw him. At some point, in November, I stopped following him on twitter and attempted to stop all communications with him.
Contrary to what Mr. Elia alleged in his radio interview with ESPN radio, I did not break up with him because he told me he had cancer. I was never dating him in the first place. I did not demand or ask for his Super Bowl tickets. I cut off communications with him because he failed to recognize appropriate boundaries. He berated me when I went out with my friends during the weekend. He impersonated a victim of sexual harassment and emailed my friend's company in an effort to embarrass him and get him fired. In other respects, consistent with his conduct on ESPN radio, he has disrespected me in an effort to hurt me, emotionally and by reputation.
I have nothing but sympathy for Mr. Elia's health concerns and wish him a full and speedy recovery. I also wish him luck in his book and television endeavors. He has enough talent to succeed in both arenas without resorting to character assassinations and publicity stunts.
It appears to me that Mr. Elia needs help to handle the emotional weight of his current medical situation. I feel it is irresponsible and unethical of ESPN radio to exploit Mr. Elia's emotional state for ratings. I have nothing further to say on this matter and I request that the media will respect my privacy and that they exercise a little more discretion when dealing with the wild accusations thrown around by Mr. Elia.
Contrast that tone with her dealings with Jason. (Click to enlarge.)
Jason, for his part, told the Daily Mail that Sokhon Sen was not the ex-girlfriend he referred to on John Wessling's radio show. The show on which he provided Sokhon Sen's twitter handle. Which is now bleeped out.
Still with no response from Elia after he changed the rules to contest again, I got in touch with John Wessling. Elia had done another exclusive interview with Wessling (this time on his podcast) where he announced he would be giving the tickets away to some random, unnamed sob story emailers with the help of an unnamed charity, rather than the person responsible for the most followers. He told me that he "saw that she came fwd...what'd you expect her to say? Easily debunked." That would seem to contradict, or at least not acknowledge, Elia's claim that the girl referenced on the show was not the girl who dumped him for having cancer. Wessling now thinks he may have been "taken for a ride." But, again, who really knows.
Finally, someone who claims to know both Jason Elia and Sokhon Sen chimed in on twitter. He claims to live up the road from Sokhon Sen and says he used to sleep with her. Sokhon Sen told me she knew him and met Elia through him on Twitter. He told me over direct message that not only were both Jason Elia and Sokhon Sen insane, but that Elia had "tried to kill himself when she actually broke up with him. He downed a bottle of Xanax and crashed his car. Far preceding the diagnosis."
The only person who does really know, is Elia. And possibly Wessling, Lions and Sokhon Sen. It's possible this is just one huge put-on and they were all in on the whole thing. Or, maybe this whole cast of wacky characters are the victims of Elia's bitchiness and greed. We'll never know. What we do know is that next week, most people will forget all about this thing, if they haven't already, and go on with their lives. But this stunt, or whatever it was, is not without actual, real life victims. Won't someone think of the camgirls?
Ronald Nored's injury history is lengthy and painful-sounding: a busted knee, concussions, lacerations. The Butler guard has played through nearly all these injuries, his durability adding to his legend as a shutdown defensive player.
But today he suffered one of the most horrendous injuries I can imagine, and maybe you can too. Teeth are sensitive things for a lot of us, and breaking a front tooth is about the worst nightmare I've ever had. So here, feed your own nightmare. [ESPN2]
Here is your college basketball open thread. Enjoy discoursing with one another.
12:00 p.m.
ESPN brings up Syracuse at St. John's to start the day off. Seton Hall at UConn can be found on ESPN3 and LaSalle at St. Joseph's will be shown somewhere in Philly, I guess.
1:00 p.m.
Marquette at Notre Dame and Vanderbilt at Florida will be on CBS, depending on where you are in the country. Virginia at Florida State is on ESPN3 and Charlotte at Fordham is on the YES network.
2:00 p.m.
Temple at Rhode Island is on ESPN2 and Ohio State at Wisconsin is on ESPN.
4:00 p.m.
ESPN has North Carolina at Maryland while ESPN3 will be showing Rutgers at Louisville and Auburn at Mississippi State. ESPN2 has Middle Tennessee at Denver and the Mountain West Network will be showing UNLV at Wyoming.
Evening
ESPN has Kentucky at South Carolina and Kansas at Missouri, at 6:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m., respectively. TCU at San Diego State will be on the Mountain West Network at 10:00 p.m.
In his latest blog entry, Greg Miller, the self proclaimed "used car salesman turned Utah Jazz CEO" filled in his readers on what appears to be something of a mantra inside the Jazz organization.
I've bitten my tongue time and again when Karl has made derogatory comments. I've tried to keep in mind the words of one of my mentors close to the situation who said "Karl Malone is giant pain in the ass, but he's our pain in the ass."
The most recent of Malone's derogatory comments was nestled in a column in The Salt Lake Tribune concerning the one year anniversary of the Jerry Sloan quitting/retirement fiasco. Malone also appeared on radio to discuss it. I guess it's still a big deal out there.
What drew the ire of Greg Miller, however, was the assertion that on the night after Sloan left, Karl Malone had to buy his own tickets—from a scalper "because the Jazz had told him there were no tickets available for him."
In response to the column and radio appearances, Greg Miller has taken to twitter, where he called Malone a liar, and his own blog where he went a little nuts with the sharing.
The fact is Karl is still as high-maintenance as he ever was, but now he has nothing to offer to offset the grief and aggravation that comes with him. Some would argue that he could coach our big men. I would love to have Karl inspire them and teach him how to be warriors like he was. That can't happen. Karl is too unreliable and too unstable. Let me explain.
A year ago, when Jerry retired, Karl rushed to Salt Lake City. He got in front of every camera he could find at the first game following Jerry's departure. He positioned himself as an authority on Jerry's departure by saying something like "the Jerry Sloan I know isn't a quitter. He left because he didn't feel wanted." Karl wasn't in the locker room during the conversations with me and Jerry. Had he been, he would have seen me (and my mom) do everything possible to convince Jerry to stay. By his own admission Karl hadn't spoken to Jerry since Jerry left. Karl's comments on the radio and on national television made an already stressful situation worse. Then in his next breath, on national television, Karl asked me to hire him as a coach.
Miller also goes into (exhaustive) detail about all the lunch dates Malone has cancelled on him and other anecdotes about how professional athletes are selfish and inconsiderate. It's a funny little commentary on the life of an athlete, even a star like Malone. Once he outlasts his usefulness, the genuflecting, the blind eye-turning and the ass-kissing—it all stops. Miller even said it himself: "now he has nothing to offer to offset the grief and aggravation that comes with him." The implication being: "So, now I'm going to blast you because I finally can."
Miller did not completely burn the bridge between he and Malone, though. Malone has a standing offer to become an Ambassador for the Utah Jazz and to enjoy any Jazz game from Miller's personal seats. Just leave the tickets at will call, though. We hear the mail man is unreliable and unstable.
Monson: A year later, Karl Malone calls out the Jazz on Jerry Sloan's exit [Salt Lake Tribune]
Karl Malone [Greg In Utah]
