5 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week [Mixed Bag]
In this week's abbreviated, holiday-weekend compilation of pop culture crap, strippers protest a church, Nancy Grace cracks nuts, and Aerosmith's Steven Tyler has an elaborate manicure.
1.) Steven Tyler's manicure
It's leopard print. Actually, the entire story is really awesome. A CNN set manager is a huge Aerosmith fan and in honor of celebrating attending his 100th concert, the network arranged for the guy and his whole family—including his crop-topped wife—to meet the band.
2.) Nancy Grace will smash your nuts.
The new promo spot for her HLN show is perfectly dramatic and crass.
3.) The Insider such a bitch.
The show demonstrated its junior-high level sophistication for backhanded remarks when it made thinly veiled jabs at Jessica Simpson's weight while reporting that she has hired plus-size models for her clothing line. If you listen closely toward the end, there's even a "moo" sound effect. Assholes.
4.) Talk to the hand (puppet).
This week on Big Brother, the house guests were forced to use a hand puppet whenever they spoke. This guy realized quickly that it was his only friend, and he cried himself to sleep while talking to it.
5.) Strippers protest holy rollers.
A dump of a strip club called The Fox Hole in Ohio is regularly protested by the members of one of the churches in town, bordering on harassment. So the strippers have begun using their Sundays to protest the church. And while the idea sounds like it rules, I have a feeling that the strippers will get sick of it really soon, since the congregation has taken it as an opportunity to literally preach to the ladies about "good and evil."
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 17:58:00 EDT
Watch Hot Men Play With Maxi Pads [Period Pieces]
A new series of Canadian Stayfree ads features different "ideal" boyfriends discussing feminine hygiene. But, while Isaiah Mustafa's ads were charming and original, watching shirtless dudes test out maxi pads is just uncomfortable.
The viral ads, which are shot from the woman's point of view, actually have more in common with Christopher Walken's sketchy SNL character "The Continental". Here we meet Trevor, who loves vacuuming, has a wall full of medical degrees, and inexplicably keeps a maxi pad display on his grand piano:
We walk in on Brad as he's cooking a gourmet dinner (Hey, look! A red stain in a commercial for feminine products!):
Nothing says romance like a candlelit outdoor dinner for two next to a spread of soiled pads!
Ryan loves cats, making toys for underprivileged kids, and discussing uncomfortable "moisture" with new ladyfriends:
The Globe And Mailreports that the ads are already bombing with women. While we appreciate that Stayfree is trying to think outside the "riding a bike through a meadow while wearing white pants" box, the solution to years of horrible period advertising isn't to steal ideas from Porn For Women and Old Spice's successful viral campaign.
Elissa Stein, who co-authored Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation with Susan Kim, complains in the Globe And Mail that the ads still use the mysterious blue liquid and never actually name the process of menstruation. The result is a campaign that's "creepy, condescending, and uncomfortable."
Garry Martin Leonard, who teaches advertising at the University of Toronto Scarborough, counters:
They're giving you a two-minute break where you get to be solicited by a shirtless hunk. You hit a home run just because you're there... The men are performing. They're showing off their bodies, skills, accomplishments, grace, elegance and charm, all of the things that women often feel they'll be judged on when they arrive for the date.
Leonard's comments capture the problem with Stayfree's "A Date With..." campaign — it plays on stereotypes about women's fears and desires. Sure the guys are easy on the eyes, but there's nothing new about ads for feminine products that talk down to women. We aren't looking for flirty period innuendo from a sexy man, but ads that don't treat our normal bodily functions like an unmentionable affliction.
Stick A Fork In This Whole Damn Summer [Hi Goodbye]
As the season draws to a close, let's be honest: this was not the Best Summer Ever. Actually it sucked. Relatively hard, in fact. And by the time Cee-Lo rolled around, it was too late.
If you disagree, let The Awl disabuse you from that:
It has been, by almost every metric, a miserable summer. Apart from continued economic malaise, a political class that seems unable deal with the problem and a concerted opposition which does everything in its power to prevent success through obstruction and distortion, environmental disasters, man-made disasters, war, famine, flood, Katy Perry and an increasing anger and ignorance best exemplified by the flap over a cultural center containing a small area in which people of a certain faith can worship downtown, it has been really really hot.
Unfortunately, none of the above is untrue (depending on how you feel about Katy Perry, anyhow). But who wants to end on that note? Here, this is better:
Yes, now we're smiling! And we do hope that your summer was, on a personal level, as dreamy as Sandy's.
As for us, we'll be going out of summer in light-posting style: Hortense will guide you through the weekend; come Monday, holiday content will be handled our dear friend AJ Daulerio of Deadspin. Regular programming will resume on Tuesday.
Have a great weekend!
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 17:30:00 EDT
Katy Perry: "You Want My Dress? Bish, Plz!" [Snap Judgment]
Horrifying Bra Implant Offers A New Kind Of Breast Enhancement [Breast Intentions]
A new and scary alternative to breast implants is the Breform: a mesh "bra" that goes under your skin.
The Daily Mailcalls Breform "a soft sponge mesh which is placed under the skin and acts in the same way as a bra." Because why bother with bra-shopping when you can have one inserted into your living tissues, amirite ladies? Says breast surgeon Fiona Court,
What happens is over time with gravity and the pressures on the breast tissue the skin stretches and you get recurrent drooping. The Breform supports the breast tissue into its new position - this also reduces the scarring.
Claire Coleman, the fifth person in the UK to get the Breform (why aren't more women queuing up to have coffee filters injected into their tits?), says that after her surgery, "There are thick lines going from the nipples down. But I know they too will fade in time." Also, she can't feel the mesh at all — small blessings, I guess. Court points out that the Breform could aid in breast reconstruction for cancer survivors, and it could be good for women who have undergone surgery or radiation to have more options. At the same time, Breform really might want to deemphasize the "bra" angle — there's just something horrifying about underwear that goes under you.
I'm pretty sure that what God actually wants is for Michael Lohan to shut the fuck up. It's in the Bible. "For lo, a jackass will be born. And he will beget a child, and he will seeketh the publicity. 'Behold', saith the Lord, 'this guy is an asshole. Someone needs to punch him in the face.' Amen."
I know when I think of the Catholic Church in Massachusetts, the first image I get is an institution overwhelmingly concerned with the welfare of its children. Institutionally, they've just clearly been terribly concerned.
Reminder: Rather than emailing us your daily comment nominations, we'd like you to submit them in the tips box at the top of the page. So send us your nominations via that box — complete with the outstanding comment's URL — and tag your nomination #cotd. (Replying to a comment with "#cotd" does not work.) From here on out, we'll mine through the brilliance via the Comment of the Day tag page.
EXCITING NEW FEATURE: We've set up a #trollpatrol page where you can report comments that you feel the editors/mods should be aware of. Try not to respond to/approve/promote trollish comments in the threads — instead, just post the comment on the #trollpatrol page, the same way you'd post a comment on #groupthink or on the #cotd page, and the editors/mods will take care of it.
Crazy Cat Ladies (And Men) Aplenty At L.A. Cat Show [Hello Kitty]
In this video, Daniel Franzese and Judith Benezra talk with people at a cat show in Santa Monica and learn about shaved cat butts, products for the Jewish feline, and why one owner says, "I wash my cats on Wednesdays."
Arianna Huffington Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving [High/low]
It doesn't matter that there have already been 800 profiles of and interviews with Arianna Huffington. New ones are still endlessly entertaining.
Part of the reason is because Huffington is both endlessly charming and lacking in a certain self awareness, a titan and schmoozer who blithely spouts populist rhetoric about media and politics. Case in point: New York's Chris Rovzar's chat with her on the occasion of her relocating to New York, in which she enthusiastically embraces her junior staff to show what a warm boss she is — even as Rovzar can't help but notice that they're mildly terrified. And then there's this:
An assistant brings us coffee. Huffington asks for a Stevia, which begins a lengthy search of drawers. "We don't have a hierarchy in our operation," Huffington continues. "I see everything as a team, and I love empowering people." The assistant is now on her hands and knees, rooting through Huffington's bag. She finds a Stevia.
The canonical Huffington work is Lauren Collins' 2008 profile in The New Yorker, which shows Huffington's many laudable and energetic qualities, but also provides a similar contrast:
"This isn't journalism; it's a Sag Harbor circle jerk," Huffington wrote in March, 2006, after Vanity Fair published a story defending [Judith] Miller. She chose to ignore the fact that, eight months earlier, she had substantiated her own criticisms by writing that she had heard them from people who knew Miller well, "since I spent the weekend in the vicinity of her summer hometown."
There's also her tendency to ask everyone she meets to blog, a networking tool that appeared endlessly in The New Yorker profile and retains its amusement as a gag for New York:
"We literally arrived at the little Amalfi port, and there was Newt Gingrich with Callista, his wife. And so Barbara Walters was with me and she invited him to appear on The View and I invited him to blog. He said he will." But aren't they foes? "He has a book coming out in November," she explains.
Imperfect, yes, but still, we prefer limousine liberals to limousine conservatives.
The Girls Finally Throw Punches On Jersey Shore [Reality Bites]
After weeks of boring Sammi/Ronnie drama, JWoww and Snooki's anonymous letter finally added some excitement to the house when residual tension turned into an all-out brawl. This is the biggest thing to happen this season (aside from Vinny's peen).
So yeah, Vinny's peen. According to Snooki, it's comparable to Wawa's Classic Hoagie.
And while that her anecdote was informative and entertaining, nothing was really as eye-opening as The Situation's panties. They're pretty dignified, right?
But that wasn't Sitch's only dignified moment on last night's episode. Was anyone else pleasantly surprised by his tolerance when he found out that the blonde with whom he was canoodling was a transsexual? He acknowledged what happened — without acting all grossed out or disgusted, because he shouldn't be — and if anything, seemed understanding and proud of the fact that he's the kind of guy that can attract any kind of person. (Weirdly, he treated the transsexual much better than he does the randoms that he brings home.) It's kind of weird — yet comforting — that his narcissism cancels out bigotry in that way.
The real shit went down on Jersey Shore After Hours, where Ronnie, Sammi, Snooki and JWoww all appeared to discuss the events of this episode. If anyone cares, this is the "real story" of why Ronnie and Sam broke up in between seasons (according to Ronnie). As can be expected, it involves petty bullshit, supposition and, of course, Facebook.
Way more interesting was the deleted scene — from the current season — that shows JWoww telling Sam, to her face, about some of Ronnie's bad behavior before filming began. Apparently, he had some kind of four-way orgy in a club bathroom on Long Island before going home to share his bed with Sam. And the girl is still with him at this very moment.
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 15:27:00 EDT
You Never Really Grow Out Of Needing Recess [Playtime]
With school around the corner (or already begun) for many kids, it's time to consider an often overlooked part of the day: recess.
Sandymaple of Strollerderby writes that a recent report by the National Wildlife Federation has found "spending time outdoors improves classroom behavior, increases motivation and enthusiasm and results in better performance in math, science, reading and social studies." But not all schools make time for recess, either because of supervision issues or because they're trying to squeeze a little more instruction time out of the day. This is a shame, both because a little break can help kids learn, and because for some kids, recess may be a rare opportunity for outdoor play. Not all kids have access to safe, supervised play spaces in their neighborhoods, and recess could be the only time they get to run around outside. For their physical and mental health, as well as school performance, it's probably a good idea to turn them loose for a bit every day.
And maybe adults have something to learn from the NWF report too. True story: I went outside today. I know a lot of you probably leave the house as part of your daily commute, but since I work from home, venturing outdoors before 5 PM is kind of a luxury. I didn't really notice it at the time — I was pretty focused on replenishing my stock of green tea, which I have to drink throughout the day to keep up the pretense that I'm not addicted to caffeine. But around 2 PM, I started to wonder why I was so alert. Why did I not have the compulsion to crawl into bed between posts, or the idea of making more tea while I was currently drinking tea? Oh: because I'd been outside. So while it's not necessarily possible every day, or in every job, I'd like to make the following recommendation for the 2010-11 school year: more recess for all.
Michaele Salahi's Infamous Red Sari Could Be Yours! [Hot Deals]
How much would you pay for the gown Michaele wore to that State Dinner she crashed? Remember, she actually touched the President! She's donated it to a charity auction, with some proceeds allegedly going to the Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund. Genius.
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:54:00 EDT
Love Triangles Make Things Even Worse For Chilean Miners [Notes From Underground]
As though the Chilean miners trapped underground for weeks needed more to worry about, their personal lives just got complicated — apparently their wives and mistresses are fighting it out on the surface.
The 33 miners have been trapped since Aug. 6, and a dangerous rescue effort may take until Christmas. Rescue workers on the surface are able to communicate with them and send them food, but there's trouble above ground too: according to the Telegraph, the miners' wives and girlfriends are fighting over who gets government support while the men are trapped. Back on the surface, these dudes were apparently busy — one guy has four ladies fighting over him. Says Red Cross worker Marta Flores, "There has been a lot of conflict between women. [...] We had a big bust up in the canteen tent when a wife came across a woman who claimed to be her husband's lover – we had to step in and pull them apart before things got physical."
Psychologists working with the miners are apparently trying to hide the fighting from them in an effort to keep them calm (presumably the Telegraph isn't among the items being sent down to them). However, UPI reports that some officials are saying each miner may have to designate a single financial beneficiary in order to get the women to stop fighting. Those hoping for big payouts may be out of luck, though: the mining company is apparently mulling a bankruptcy filing to avoid paying compensation. Flores says not everyone is involved in the bickering: "Those that truly love their men have slipped away quietly not wanting to cause any more pain to the families but others are putting up a fight." I don't know, though — if I had to meet my husband's mistress because he was trapped underground until Christmas, I might be pissed too.
[New Jersey, September 2: Lindsay Matthews, left, puts the finishing touches on a letter "U," painted on the stomach of Lauren Benton before the Norfolk State against Rutgers NCAA college football game at Rutgers Stadium. Image via AP]
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:33:00 EDT
Puppy-Throwing Girl Apprehended By Bosnian Police [Inhumanity]
The authorities believe they've found the girl who became infamous for drowning six puppies on camera. She's apparently a minor, but could still face a $6,400 fine for animal cruelty.
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:10:00 EDT
Dress Code: The Sartorial Challenges Of Big Boobs [Dress Code]
Big boobs, the fashion mags tell us, are "in." Thanks. For plenty of us, they're in vogue 24/7, 365...and dressing around breasts? Not so easy. Herewith, we get to the heart of the matter!
"I just accepted my breasts as a great accessory to every outfit." That's Jennifer Love Hewitt, and while the sentiment's terrific, in practice it's a bit harder when said accessories aren't, strictly speaking, fitting into the outfit in question. "Big bosoms are the new must-have accessory" for fall, says fashion-crank Liz Jones, but while that's all very well, as Christina Hendricks herself could tell you, the genuine article, when not optional, requires a lot of support and no small amount of tailoring.
The good news? (Besides the, um, must-have accessories, that is.) You're not alone, and not only are there more resources available nowadays, but there are communities devoted to exactly these issues: a great one to keep in mind is BigBustSupprt.com, which covers everything from wedding gowns to supportive sleepwear. All of these are excellent means of finding specific items, getting other women's takes on brands and sizing, or just venting at the difficulty of not finding a shirt that doesn't need to be tailored everywhere else.
As with all these things, there are a lot of "rules" for things not to do: horizontal stripes, high necks, tight tops, tight bottoms, anything big or baggy, large purses - I've seen all of these proscribed by one maven or another. We're more concerned with what to do - for best fit and maximum comfort. The rest is up to you! The following are less negotiable!
Bras: This is something we've discussed before, but it bears repeating: for the big-busted woman, it's not just about shape and lift, but comfort and health, too. We've talked about fit and sizing before, but let me repeat: if you can get a professional fitting, do it. (BiggerBras.com, for obvious reasons, is a terrific resource.)
HerRoom, BareNecessities and JustMySize are all good resources for sizes through H, but what about pretty ones? Industrial strength is all very well, but if you're looking for something a little more feminine, try Chantelle, Le Mystere and Panache all of which have pretty options in both underwire and soft-cup styles .
For finding what they rightly term the 8th wonder of the world, we can thank Big Bust Support, who have indeed suggested a strapless large-cup bra that actually works. Does it verge on the "corset?" Yes. But the reviewers invoke jumping-jacks, people. In general, a bustier or longline style like this is a good option!
A lot of women like to have a minimizer in their arsenal, just to work with different tops. A minimizer quite literally smushes you down - without making you look as smushy as that sounds. Not imperative, but a useful tool. Wacoal makes a very good one. Keep in mind that the fits can vary with a minimizer, so it bears trying on - don't assume it'll correspond to your regular bra size.
When it comes to sports bras, don't settle for the layered bra any longer: the name of the game is "shock absorber," and while it's a little more expensive, these things work - and come through 40G.
Bathing Suits can be daunting, but there are great options out there! A few things to look for?
Underwire
Halter-necks (not necessary, but supportive and flattering)
V-necks
Bravissimo, which specializes in sizes D-K, makes a line of swimwear, some of which is very cute indeed. Meanwhile, the Swim Outlet has a whole section devoted to "D cup and up" whose bikini selection, especially, rates a look. And if you like a retro look, although it's not explicitly big-bust, Esther Williams' classic line comes in shapes just made to flatter a full chest.
Clothes:
As if it needs saying, find a good tailor and make him your friend. Your blouses will thank you. If you need to get jackets and shirts that are too big everywhere else, a tailor or drycleaner can take them in, shorten the sleeves, add a judicious dart. Alternatively, if a top is gapping, it's easy to have an unobtrusive snap put in on the button placket.
If, like many of us, you're bigger on top, a wrap dress can be a good thing to have around: yeah, you may need a camisole, but at least - in a stretchy fabric - you can wear one size for a change. In general with dresses, jerseys can be great - but so can a structured fabric that holds you in (although this may require some tailoring.) Again, an open neckline - scoop, round, V or sweetheart - can be very flattering.
In general, an open neckline can indeed draw attention away from the bust if that's your goal; something vertical, like a pendant, good-sized necklace or scarf, can also break up a line visually.
The shirt question is really eternal. While a lot can be done with camisoles, with double-stick tape, with a judicious snap, with tailoring, there is another option. It's called Carissa Rose, and it's amazing. It's a site totally devoted to custom tailoring for big-busted women. While they make a couple of styles of perfect, classic dresses, nothing is more welcome than their line of shirts - all of which are way more reasonably priced than you're braced for right now.
Whatever shirt you buy, make sure it's sufficiently long, because your bust shortens the length. Look for an open neckline and structured fabric. Wrap styles look nice. The common wisdom is to avoid high necks; I say try any such top with a long pendant before ruling it out - but really, just stick with what's comfortable.
What Not to Wear Stacey's fixation on a lock-and-load, single-breasted jacket that corrals "the girls" is not misplaced; such an item can indeed make one feel smart and trim. Those who wish to draw attention away from the breasts are advised to avoid embellishment and go for a minimal collar. A jacket that hits at the hip is always a safe bet. Try to find one with some shape and a deep neckline. And when in doubt, you don't need to button it. I've found great jackets at H&M and even Forever21, so while you can spend a lot, you don't need to. Wherever you buy it, take it to a tailor or dry-cleaner: they can pull it in at the waist or move a button and generally work wonders.
Sweaters in a thinner knit may feel less bulky than a big, chunky cable-knit or similar.
And yes, there's a reason Joan Holloway looks amazing: styles of other eras were more geared to a full bust. So take stock and take inspiration.
This is the kind of subject where word-of-mouth is really invaluable; if I'd listened to my AA mother, I'd still be swimming in giant-sized turtlenecks and wearing the wrong bra size. So spill: what are your tricks and tips, your resources and well-kept secrets? How do you keep your breasts from being the center of attention all the time — and showing them off when you feel like it? Inquiring minds — and aching backs — want to know!
Orangutan Adopts Lion Cub, World Squees [Monkey Business]
An orangutan named Hanama has adopted seven-week-old male lion cubs Skukuza and Simh at South Carolina's Myrtle Beach Safari Park. The park director says, "He runs about with them... and sometimes picks them up to give them a cuddle."
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 13:44:50 EDT
New Zealand Hit With Major Earthquake [Breaking]
An earthquake registering 7.2 on the Richter scale hit near New Zealand's second-largest city, Christchurch, early Saturday. Residents are reporting damage, power outages, and large aftershocks.
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 13:38:00 EDT
Abusive Sorority Reminds Everyone That Hazing Isn't Just For Dudes [Sister Act]
If there was any doubt that sororities can be every bit as bad as frats, let's dispel it with this tale of all-female hazing.
According to her complaint, she and fellow pledges were punched, slapped, kicked, slammed into walls, struck with a wooden spoon and a cane, and had books and coins thrown at them during a series of 16 nighttime initiation sessions. Howard recalled one evening when a sorority sister told her to close her eyes. She was then struck on the buttocks with what she later learned was a kitchen pot. The pledges were also frequently struck with a wooden paddle, Howard said, blows that left her with welts on her buttocks.
Sorority members also told Howard not to say anything to anyone about the hazing, because "snitches get stitches." They said if she failed to take part in some of the pledge activities, everyone in the sorority would beat her up. And when she told school officials about the hazing, they threatened her some more. Possibly the worst part: Howard had originally planned to pledge with a different sorority, but was scared off by reports of — you guessed it — hazing. Clearly Sigma Gamma Rho wasn't the refuge she'd hoped for.
While it's true that the Greek system can be a positive experience for plenty of people, some organizations apparently remain hotbeds of institutionalized violence. And while some think of such violence as a guy thing, it's obvious that women are capable of it as well. Sororities can keep up with frats when it comes to disgusting, bodily-fluid-stained parties, and we shouldn't be surprised that they can also give the guys a run for their money in the senseless abuse department. The moral, if there is one: never underestimate a group of young people's capacity to be assholes to each other, regardless of gender.
Retro PSA Demonstrates How LSD Turns Hot Dogs Into Trolls [Acid Reflux]
According to this 1969 propaganda film, dropping acid may lead to a fashion faux pas. (Pink capris with a green and brown blouse? Yuck.) Oh, and your hot dog may beg you to spare his life because he has kids.
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 13:06:51 EDT
What Can Be Done About Reproductive Coercion [Choice Words]
Reproductive coercion has many hideous faces, including that of the man arrested for raping his wife for refusing to have an abortion. But a new study shows that a simple conversation can make a difference in one form of coercion.
Thomas Hill, a 24-year-old of Camden, New Jersey was arrested this week for raping his wife in a room where three children, including two of his own, slept, allegedly because she refused to have an abortion. Violence against a partner for refusing to have an abortion is a horrific violation of a woman's autonomy over her own body — the fundamental value behind being pro-choice.
As we've discussed, there's another form of reproductive coercion, which defies stereotypes about men and women's behavior, and is disturbingly common: forcing women to be pregnant or carry unwanted pregnancy to term:
One in five reported "pregnancy coercion," while 15% said they'd suffered from "birth control sabotage." And these were correlated with other types of abuse - 35% of respondents who experienced partner violence experienced pregnancy coercion or birth-control sabotage as well. Says study author Elizabeth Miller, "Not only is reproductive coercion associated with violence from male partners, but when women report experiencing both reproductive coercion and partner violence, the risk for unintended pregnancy increases significantly."
Can medical professionals do anything to help women whose reproductive rights are under assault by their violent partners? A new study shows that just being asked about partner violence and reproductive coercion at a clinic could make a difference:
Researchers specifically asked young women whether their partners had attempted to force them to become pregnant. The study found that young women who recently experienced partner violence had a 70 percent reduction in the odds that they would continue to experience pregnancy coercion following the questioning. The study participants also were 60 percent more likely to report ending a relationship with a partner because they felt unsafe or the relationship felt unhealthy.
The interventions by clinic professionals would include talking about partner violence and putting women in touch with victim-advocacy and support groups. It turns out just talking can mean making a change.
Project Runway: Always A Bridesmaid, Never An Avocado Goiter [Tv Watch]
Last night's episode involved taking hideous polyester bridesmaid dresses and turning them into something wearable. Results were mixed between "Snooki & The Flintstones" and "secretary from 1987."
Mondo picked a dress because it was pink, but when his model turned around, she had a weird white stripe highlighting her ass. Mondo was adorably horrified.
During the challenge, which also involved allowing the public at some random designer showcase to vote on which dress they liked the best, Michael C was doing pretty well. So Ivy started some kind of rumor that he was spreading a rumor about her. Or something. On to the runway…
Gretchen's outfit looked, in the words of my friend who was watching with me, "like fucking garbage." And: "like the woman shat herself."
Ivy turned her cream dress into tight-ass tuxedo pants.
Andy had the J. Crew dress with the fugly vertical bow on it. I have hated this dress for a while now! He dyed his fabric and churned out hot little shorts. One of the other designers called this a "take your husband" outfit.
Casanova's ensemble was sexy, chic and cool — who would think you could turn a bridesmaid dress into motorcycle pants?
April: Fashion forward, but not a diaper. Nice job.
Chris had hideous fabric he somehow made less hideous. Perhaps it's a little "Sheena Queen Of The Jungle Goes For Cocktails At The Watering Hole," but that's okay. Christopher was in the top 3.
Mondo made magic happen. His dress was awesome, even if Michael Kors thought the hair was "Snooki & The Flinstones." Mondo was in the top 3.
Michael C's lacey little black number was a crowd-pleaser. The judges thought it was "ultra-sophisticated." He was declared the winner. Personally, I think Mondo was robbed — his dress truly did not look like it used to be a frothy prommy thing — but they're setting up an interesting battle, pitting Gretchen and Michael C against each other.
Michael D was in the bottom. It sucked that as the only designer with a fuller-figured woman, he completely failed. A FULL SKIRT. Really? He should have used Joan from Mad Men as inspiration and done a wiggle skirt. He was in the bottom 3.
Michael Kors thought Valerie's bodice looked like a maternity bra, and Nina Garcia noted that Valerie's dress made her model look shorter and broader. Valerie was also in the bottom 3. How can she have such awesome personal style, yet create this icky thing?
Oh lord. Peach's dress. The judges really went off.
Peach and her avocado goiter had to say goodbye. Auf Wiedersehen, Peach!
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:36:00 EDT
Anna Wintour's Hair Dares To Defy Her Wishes [Snap Judgment]
[Queens, New York, September 2. Image via INFDaily.]
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:25:13 EDT
First Woman To Be Executed In Virginia In 98 Years [Death Row]
Teresa Lewis is scheduled to be executed on September 23 for her role in her husband and stepson's murders. She'll be the first U.S. woman executed since 2005. Two very different takes on the story are here and here.
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:17:00 EDT
Confirmed: JWoww's Roommates Are Total Dogs [Snap Judgment]
Clingy Chicago Dentist Creates "Hillary 2012" Ad [Premature Adulation]
Even though it's only 2010 and Clinton has said she's not running, some people just can't let go. Can't we just let the lady do her job?
According to CNN, William DeJeanpaid $5,000 for the ad, which has run in New Orleans and will hit Washington, New York and Los Angeles soon. By way of explanation, he said, "I'm a dentist and I don't think this country is headed in the right direction." Maybe he and Orly Taitz can have a face-off over America's gumlines? More seriously, DeJean apparently believes that "people are having buyer's remorse about President Barack Obama and [...] the current administration is ruining the Democratic Party." The solution, according to his ad: "Let's make sure the president we should have elected in 2008 will be on the ballot in 2012."
But as CNN points out, Clinton has repeatedly said she doesn't want to run for president in 2012. In February, she said, "I am very proud to support Barack Obama and I will continue to support Barack Obama." Of course, anything can happen, but barring some big scandal or pretty major party schism, prospects for a Clinton do-over look grim. Maybe it's time we stopped focusing on her past, and started thinking about her future.
Especially at the beginning of her tenure as Secretary of State, Clinton seemed to get more attention for her husband and her supposed resentment at losing the presidency than for what she actually did. And in some ways our image of her still seems stuck in time: for instance, when she changes her hair, it's news. But Clinton has important things to do, like running Mideast peace talks. She's moved on since 2008, and DeJean should too.
Betsey Johnson Now Practically Owned By Steve Madden [Rag Trade]
Betsey Johnson defaulted on a $50 million loan. Steve Madden bought the debt, and as collateral, Johnson put up all of her company's intellectual property — every design, every idea, everything that makes the brand its lovable pink-punk self.
If Betsey Johnson cannot repay its loan by August of 2012, Steve Madden will effectively own the Betsey Johnson brand, to do with what it will. [WWD]
Blake Lively: "I was speaking with Anna Wintour and we were just talking about different fashion houses and I said, 'I love Chanel,' and she said, 'You should come with me to the show.' I also said I loved Dior. She said, 'Okay, well I'll take you to the Chanel and Dior shows and we'll meet with Karl and John afterwards.' Insane!" [Wonderwall]
Lanvin's line for H&M will include dresses, coats, eveningwear, jewelry, hats, sunglasses, handbags, footwear and lipstick. The full collection will be unveiled on November 2 via a short film directed by Mike Figgis, who did Leaving Las Vegas. And on November 20, the newly opened H&M store in the Caesar's Palace mall will become the first store in the world to sell the line; all other piners for cheap Lanvin will have to wait till the 23rd, when it drops at over 200 other locations worldwide. [WWD]
Online discounter Gilt Groupe charged some customers more than the advertised price at a recent flash sale. Several complained to Racked, and Gilt admitted to Women's Wear Daily, "We had a lot of technical difficulties with that sale." The site says it is reaching out to affected customers to refund them the difference. The Federal Trade Commission prohibits retailers from charging more than the price they advertise. [Racked, Racked, WWD]
Bridget Hall has lawyered up and is fighting the drunk driving charge she racked up in the Hamptons last weekend. Her explanation? Must've been a faulty breathalyzer. [P6]
Victoria Beckham is Tweeting fashion week. So far she's talked about Fashion's Night Out, her son Romeo's laser tag party, and her nomination for designer brand of the year at the British Fashion Council awards. [@vbfashionweek]
The Jews are unhappy that Fashion's Night Out takes place before Rosh Hashanah ends. "No one would dare ask us to work on Christmas," "snipped" one, according to the Post. But, but, there's a whole synagogue praying for the talented Chosen People of New York City fashion! Isn't that enough? [P6]
Catherine Malandrino's St. Tropez vacation is sickeningly, horribly, disgustipatingly glorious-sounding. [WWD]
Jelena Jankovic comes across as sweet but a little overwhelmed in this piece on her visit to the Stuart Weitzman store, where she will spend Fashion's Night Out in order to raise money for charity. She tried on a pair of 6" heels, stood up, and said, "These are too risky for a tennis player." Weitzman's take? "Of course, a girl can't resist a free pair of shoes. She is like a kid in a candy store." [WWD]
Ke$ha: "Right before I go onstage, I lather my body in baby oil and cover my entire body with a shield of glitter. Because it just pops! It just looks great! It's really hard to get the glitter off. I've just given up. I've accepted that it will just be there. It's in all my suitcases, it's usually in my food, in my drinks. Sometimes when I pee, it's in the toilet. I don't know how it got there...In my fantasy world, I would just wear headdresses and run around in body paint and a glitter diaper and that's it." [MTV]
Terrible person Michaele Salahi is auctioning off her lucky gatecrashing sari. She recently told friend-of-Jezebel Louis Virtel that she held the sari responsible for all the media attention her and her husband's decision to crash a White House party received: "I think it was the red sari, I really do. I think it was too bright — like if I'd gone with a black or gray [it would have escaped notice], but that red was like, 'Woo!'" [TMZ, Movieline]
Argentine model Tatiana Cotliar, who opened the Marc Jacobs show last season, recalls the experience as "not very nice." She says: "The girls at Marc's show looked at me differently. People were like, 'Who are you?' After the show a journalist asked me, 'Are you from the streets?' Because, of course, Marc pulls people in from the streets. I said, 'No, I am a model.'" Actually, the question wasn't completely out of left field: last season, Jacobs' show was indeed partly street-cast. [Telegraph, Fashionologie]
Once, years ago, the co-founder of Flaunt styled a shoot with models who were around size 14. Finding interesting, fashionable clothes to fit these models was such a struggle that, reader, he has never attempted the task again. But he really hopes things are changing in fashion! [Fashionista]
Banks want to buy Jimmy Choo, but Jimmy Choo is being all, Nuh-uh, we are sooooo successful that we're not even for sale. This seems like a naked ploy to drive up demand for an impending sale. [WWD]
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 11:25:39 EDT
Teresa's Enemy Sister-In-Law Joins Cast Of NJ Housewives [Reality Bites]
Yesterday on Today, Teresa mentioned that some of her family members have been "interviewed" for the spot left empty by Dina Manzo, but wouldn't confirm anything. But that could have something to do with the fact that Melissa's addition to the cast is playing a role in Teresa's contract dispute with Bravo to return next season (which supposedly starts filming today).
According to RadarOnline, Teresa and Melissa—who is married to Teresa's younger brother Giuseppe—"don't get along…don't speak." A "family source" revealed:
When Teresa got word that her sister-in-law was asked to be part of the show she said, ‘If she's going to be on the show, then I'm not going to do it.'
We might have Danielle Staub's cryptic "nephew" comment on the reunion to thank for this new drama. Melissa recently gave birth to a son, and seeing how much the mere mention of it pissed off Teresa, the network may have found the opportunity for a juicy new storyline irresistible.
Melissa used to be the secretary for Giuseppe's successful real estate development business before the two wed six years ago. The NY Post is reporting today that Melissa was pissed off that Teresa wouldn't allow Melissa's daughter Antonia to ride in the limo for Gia's birthday party, which was featured on an episode this past season. Additionally, the Gorgas are much wealthier than the bankrupt Giudices, with their $4 million 13,500-square-foot, 16-room estate in tony Montville said to be "twice the size" of Teresa and Joe's marble-and-onyx Towaco palace.
Bravo's official statement on the matter: "We have announced that the show is coming back, but have not made any announcements about casting yet."
Could This Girl Be Breaking Dawn's Vampire Spawn? [Twilight Time]
Model Management Group, posted a photo of "Kayla D" (with her brother) on Facebook, claiming she's up for the role of Renesmee in Breaking Dawn. She's pretty cute, but will fans be disappointed that she doesn't resemble this felted fetus?
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 11:00:00 EDT
84-Year-Old Jerry Lewis Would Like To Spank Lindsay Lohan [Notable Quotable]
Yes. Definitely. Getting smacked on the bottom by an octogenarian should solve her problems.
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 10:43:00 EDT
Let's End The Week With Some Ridiculous Clothes, Shall We? [Good/bad/ugly]
At first glance, nothing about this party — which is Sydney's ACP Magazine's launch of '30 Days of Fashion and Beauty' — looks that odd. And then you get closer...
The jacket of Edwina McCann, Editor of Harpers, is a good case in point.
Is it a stole? A collar? A frankendress? Singer Mindy Jackson isn't bound by labels.
Model Nikki Phillips demonstrates one way to keep people at arm's length!
The question is not if Jodi Gordon whips off the skirt and executes a cabaret act, but when.
Fashion designer Camilla Franks is her own calling card. Make of it what you will.
The U.S. got more from the British than a language and Victoria Beckham. We also got a wave of tabloid editors and paparazzi trained in a ruthless, hypercompetitive market — where at least one major newspaper routinely hacked celebrity voicemail.
On the heels of a California bill regulating paparazzi movement — the one that took into account that scary Kate Moss video — come several meditations and investigations on how gossip sausage is made. A New York Times Magazineinvestigation into widespread practices at the Murdoch-owned News Of The World shows that bum-rushing celebrities at airports isn't the only way to stay afloat in a brutal media environment. There's also accessing their mobile phones, which is absurdly simple:
Often, all it took was a standard four-digit security code, like 1111 or 4444, which many users did not bother to change after buying their mobile phones. If they did, the paper's private investigators found ways to trick phone companies into revealing personal codes. Reporters called one method of hacking "double screwing" because it required two simultaneous calls to the same number. The first would engage the phone line, forcing the second call into voice mail. A reporter then punched in the code to hear messages, often deleting them to prevent access by rival papers. A dozen former reporters said in interviews that hacking was pervasive at News of the World. "Everyone knew," one longtime reporter said. "The office cat knew."
Their targets included the royal family — which is eventually what got Scotland Yard on the trail, although The New York Times says their investigation was half-assed because they were afraid of Murdoch — but also lesser known people like soccer executives and even the 19-year-old victim of a sexual assault (apparently by a famous person):
The victim in a high-profile sexual-assault investigation seven years ago, wrote to the police in January to see if her name was in the files. The woman suspected her phone may have been hacked because details about her life appeared in News of the World and other tabloids during coverage of her ordeal. She had been convinced the police or her friends were selling the information. Two months after writing to the police, she received a letter confirming that her number had been found among Mulcaire's records.
This woman and three others have brought cases against the paper, though the process has been hampered by Scotland Yard's foot-dragging.
Though utterly heinous, the practices at The News Of The World seem to be an almost nostalgic throwback to an old world of gossip. Earlier this week, The Village Voice published a lament that gossip-collecting just isn't want it used to be, at least at newspapers in New York. Says George Rush, who walked away from his longtime Daily News gig:
"It was supposed to be about the rich, famous, and powerful...You weren't supposed to waste the time of your readers by writing about soap-opera stars, people who weren't worth the ink. That was one of the pleasures for the readers: people whose money couldn't protect them from disaster.....There's just so much that gets instantly transmitted about so many 'celebrities' "-Rush pauses to make air quotes-"we've never even regarded as celebrities," he says. "You want them to go away. If Snooki passes out drunk, so what? She doesn't have far to fall."
And his former Daily News colleague Ben Widdicombe says that by 2008, "It was all about Paris-Britney-Lindsay, and the columnists were essentially waiting for one of them to die. Preferably in as lurid and media-friendly a way possible." How far have we come? Well, Britney's been staying out of trouble.
These days, outlets like the Daily News and Page Six seem positively genteel next to the dominant, high-metabolism gossip machines of TMZ and copycat RadarOnline. (Only The National Enquirer seems to be still waving the flag for print tabloids.) Those machines require a steady fuel of minutiae and the occasional Mel Gibson-style scandal. And we all keep clicking.
14-year-old Brittany Lopez read 325 novels and comics this summer, winning the New York Public Library's Summer Reading 2010 contest. Lopez, who received her award at Yankees Stadium, says, "Curtis Granderson pinched me to check I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't!"
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 10:03:00 EDT
For Some Kids, First Day Of School Is Particularly Rough [Snap Judgment]
[Moldova, September 1: Schoolchildren wait outside for the opening of their new school, which features indoor toilets, new teaching materials, and specially-trained teachers. UNICEF praised it as a model for future schools in Moldova. Image via AP.]
Fri, 03 Sep 2010 09:45:00 EDT
Gay Dean Loses Her Job After Marrying Her Partner [Rites And Rights]
A reminder that bigotry is alive and well even where gay marriage is legal: a popular dean of students has been forced to resign from a Massachusetts high school for marrying another woman.
According to MassLive.com, Christine Judd was athletic director and dean at Cathedral High School in Springfield, Massachusetts — until she married her partner last month. At that point the Roman Catholic Diocese of Springfield gave her a choice — quit or be fired. Says diocese spokesman Mark Dupont,
Without being specific to this matter, it should be clear that all employees of our Catholic schools are made aware of our policies and regulations. This includes language that clearly states that whenever by public example, an employee engages in or espouses conduct which contravenes the doctrine and teaching of the Catholic Church, that employee may be subject to disciplinary action. To do otherwise would be in contradiction to the values we believe in and are teaching in these same schools. So while we certainly want to be compassionate and understanding, we must be true to who we are.
Judd says that she's "still exploring her legal options," and that "she questions if there are lay persons who work for the Catholic diocese who divorce and remarry without an annulment, or employees who use birth control, or men who have had vasectomies, or individuals who are pro-choice on abortion." I also wonder whether the diocese was fine with Judd's sexual orientation as long as she didn't put it out in the open by exercising her right (legally protected in Massachusetts) to get married. Whatever the case, Judd makes two things clear: one, that this was entirely a diocese decision and her school is not at fault, and two, that those responsible for forcing her out have done a disservice to her students. She says, "In the end, the timing of this issue really affects the kids. That is where it has the most effect." These kids have lost a positive influence in their lives — one reader tells us, "she was always a good teacher and Dean." In her place, they've received the message that if they're gay, the Church thinks it's fine to force them out of their jobs. It's ironic that in being "true to who we are," the diocese denied someone else the right to do so.
Did Anyone Else Realize Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Is Entering Its EIGHTEENTH Season? [Mighty Bad]
As if Power Rangers staying on the air for 17 seasons wasn't bad enough, Nickelodeon is now bringing the show back for an 18th season in 2011. Note: children's TV executives are reviving Power Rangers, while Reading Rainbow remains canceled.